Don't be the shadow of others, but be your own protagonist.
the Peony Pavilion says: "the wind is uncertain, people are impermanent."
the road of life is not like a piece of satin, smooth and flat, but like an old coarse cloth, there are always ups and downs.
perhaps, just a few inadvertently delayed steps will be enough to change the course of life.
people fall into four traps when they reach middle age, despite their painstaking efforts, they still can't live their lives well.
lose your lining in order to save face
as the saying goes, "people want face, trees want bark."
everyone loves his face for fear of losing face and being looked down upon by others.
some people, even for the sake of temporary face, would rather sacrifice their inner life and grit their teeth.
like the little woman in the novel Necklace, she attends a party in order to dress up;
with all his savings, he customized an evening dress and borrowed a diamond necklace from Mrs. Kuo.
as a result, the necklace was accidentally lost, and the little woman and the husband of the clerk paid off their debts for 10 years.
finally found out that it was just a fake diamond necklace.
as the saying goes, save face and suffer alive.
the lower a person's level is, the more he or she takes face seriously and is eventually burdened by it.
Zuo Zhuan says: "if the skin does not exist, how can Mao attach it?"
the most fundamental things no longer exist, how can we attach to those external things?
only when the interior is full, can one lose face; only by letting go of face can one win dignity.
think of Brother Longhua mentioned by Luo Zhenyu in his New year's speech.
he was originally the owner of a manufacturing factory, but the factory was closed because of business failure and owed a foreign debt of 2 million.
later, he found that there were holes in the seats of many electric cars in the streets of Shenzhen, so he put on leather stickers and went all over the street to look for electric cars to repair their seats.
on the first day, he began to make a profit; the next day, he made up his mind to keep doing it.
there is a saying in the Grandmaster:
"when people live in the world, some live to save face, some live to become insiders.
and only Li Zi can win real face. "
the more you go back in life, the more you will understand that without face, it is as thin as paper.
if you prop up the interior, you will naturally have face.
lose yourself in order to fit in with the group
Laozi once said, "if you are flattered or disgraced, you will suffer a great deal."
when people live a lifetime, many people regard the opinions and evaluations of others as their own criteria.
lest their own actions will not be accepted or recognized, and become the neglected person in the corner.
and a person who tries to please and try to fit in with the group may not be able to win the real recognition and respect of others.
in the end, I wasted my energy, wronged myself, and lost myself, and the loss outweighed the gain.
Lu Xun once said, "Beasts always walk alone, and only cattle and sheep come together in groups."
people with real strength have had a period of solitude.
the renewal of knowledge, the improvement of ability, the upgrading of thinking, each of which is inseparable from the precipitation and absorption of solitude.
and these are the places where a person is really attractive and can make himself the center of his circle of friends.
just like comedian Zhou Xingchi, he is funny and funny on the screen, but on weekdays he is a silent, loner.
while others gathered together to talk and brag, he stood alone at the window looking at the street view and thinking.
in an interview, director Liu Zhenwei recalled that Zhou Xingchi wanted to talk to him about the play, but did not meet directly.
instead, he wrote the idea on a note and slipped it into his room.
he never messes with other people's emotions, nor does he cater to other people's preferences, but many actors are proud to take part in his play.
when people reach middle age, don't be the shadow of others, but should become their own protagonists.
when you become irreplaceable, the world will open its arms to you.
lose your health for the sake of wealth
philosopher Carlisle once said, "healthy people are never aware of their health. Only those who are sick know it."
in this life, people work hard and are busy. They all want to earn more wealth in their lifetime.
so that the people you care about can live a decent and comfortable life.
so, in the deeper night, you can still see the delivery guy coming and going in a hurry.
in the street where the sky has just turned white, you can see the "flying man" who trails his luggage and carries his briefcase to and from the city.
at a time when the pace of life is getting faster and faster, many people are squeezing their health infinitely in exchange for more living space.
however, when the body turned on the red light again and again, it was not until it had to stop that it was found that it was a cold ward on four sides.
host Yu Ting used to be a workaholic.
every day before dawn, she forces herself to get up and work and work all night, which is even more normal in her life.
after a long and healthy overdraft, she was finally diagnosed with breast cancer, had her breast removed, and underwent eight months of chemotherapy.
in order to remove the unbearable pain from her body, she rolled about on the bed like crazy and even hit the wall with her body.
having lost her health, she once regretted:
"if someone told me that giving him 1 million would make me feel less pain, I would certainly give him all the money without hesitation."
Lenin once said: "only those who can rest will work."
the body is the most honest. If you don't let it rest, it will certainly make you sick.
Wealth is endless, but health is limited.
A really smart person will take good care of his body. With it, there will be unlimited possibilities in the future.
lose your family in order to socialize
people always think that the more friends, the larger the circle, the closer to success.
as a result, most of the time outside of work is spent socially, while neglecting the family.
maybe the outside world is really wonderful. People brag and flatter each other and say things that make your heart happy.
maybe the atmosphere at home is really monotonous, with firewood, rice, oil and salt, pots and pans, quarrelling over all kinds of trifles.
however, when you are in trouble and need a helping hand, you will find that those friends who have changed their cups are far away from you.
when you are sick and need to be taken care of, you realize that it is always your family around you.
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Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu have always been unsociable. After middle age, they simply closed their doors and devoted themselves to writing.
once, when someone wanted to visit, Yang Jiang rejected: "even if we talk for a day, we won't be friends. We might as well write more works, even if we are friends."
Qian Zhongshu's attitude is even more direct: "there is no need to say something innocuous with some unruly people."
apart from writing and reading, they spend most of their time with their daughter Qian Kui.
Yang Jiang once wrote in her book: "sometimes, I am the eldest. Ah Yi and my father are buddies, they are my two urchins, and the father is only worthy to be his daughter's brother."... "
host Liang Jizhang once said: "relatives only have one fate, next life, no matter love or not, will not see each other again."
where the world leaves, the earth will turn the same, but if your family leaves you, a corner of life will collapse.
Don't ignore the feelings of your family for the sake of so-called friends.
you should know that no matter you are beautiful or depressed, only the lamp at home always illuminates for you.
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