When you become difficult to mess with, the world will be gentle to you.
there is an intriguing detail in Jin Ping Mei.
once, the wife of a man entertained the big servant girls in each room.
in terms of status, it was headed by the servant girl of the eldest wife Wu Yueniang, but at the table, everyone was holding Pan Jinlian's servant girl Pang Chunmei.
there is no other reason, because Pang Chunmei is not easy to mess with.
if you think about it, it's the same in real life.
weak people are often deceived, and it is easier to win the respect of others if they are not easy to mess with.
so a man would rather be as ruthless as a wolf than as soft as a sheep.
the writer Zhou Guoping told a scoundrel story in his book when you learn to be alone.
A few days later, his friend urged him to pay back the money, but he looked unhappy and said confidently, "Why do you care so much that you have come to extort debts after only a few days?"
my friend smiled awkwardly and wondered if he was too harsh, so he pressed not to mention it.
in the years that followed, the scoundrel bought a car and a house, and life went smoothly.
one day, my friend's mother was sick in hospital and was in urgent need of money, so she had no choice but to beg for it. As a result, the scoundrel shouted, "how long have you been worrying like this?"
Mr. Yang Jiang wrote this paragraph in "going to the Edge of Life":
"sometimes, if you intend to be an honest man at peace with the rest of the world, people will use you to bully you; if you are magnanimous and patient, they will infringe on you and hurt you."
this is the case with human nature. The more you give in, the more unscrupulous the other person will be.
too weak, he will only be slaughtered and pinched everywhere.
writer Bo Bonnie has always had a wish to go back to the past and change the outcome of the things she has been haunting for many years.
when she was a child, she was short, fat and clumsy.
in a PE class, a male classmate, in front of the whole class, threw a basketball on her head. Although she was very aggrieved, she chose to swallow her anger.
in PE class, the male students laughed at her running posture and asked her to pick up the ball, but from beginning to end, she did not resist, but ran to the corner after class and cried silently.
after being bullied for a long time, she began to doubt herself, so much so that she refused to take PE classes from primary school to college, and even now she is afraid of doing sports in front of others.
whenever she thinks of this past, she will ask herself if she would not have this memory of humiliation if she had returned her hand at that time.
there is a classic line in the movie Blacklist:
"Why others dare to do bad things to you is because you make people feel that they can do bad things to you without paying any price."
some hearts are doomed not to be hot, while others are doomed to be underfed. The weaker you are, the less people will take you seriously.
someone once asked Confucius, "what is it like to return good for evil?"
Confucius said, "how can you repay good? Return evil with directness, and repay good with good. "
others bully you, but you try to influence him with morality. He will not appreciate your benevolence and righteousness, but feel that you are afraid of him.
in the World, Zhou Bingkun is recognized as a good man by his family and friends.
in order to pursue her own happy life, Zhou Rong left her daughter Feng Yue to Zhou Bingkun to take care of for more than ten years.
in the past ten years, no matter how hard life has been, Zhou Bingkun has not complained, nor has he ever complained about the difficulty of raising another child.
and these efforts seem to be taken for granted between families in Zhou Rong's eyes.
Zhou Rong learned that Feng Yue liked Zhou Nan, not only encouraged Feng Yue and Zhou Nan to be together, but also hoped to get the support of Zhou Bingkun and Zheng Juan, without taking into account the feelings of their husband and wife.
when Zhou's father was seriously ill, as soon as Zhou Rong entered the house, she began to blame Bingkun for not taking good care of her father, but she forgot that Bingkun was the only one who maintained the family and took care of her parents these years.
to his family, he gave a lot of meticulous efforts, but in the end, all he got was blame and incomprehension.
after Xiao Guoqing and Wu Qian were laid off, Zhou Bingkun wanted to help them and found a way to arrange for Wu Qian to work in a bookstore.
the National Day family had no house to live in, so he lent out his old house and let them live in it indefinitely.
later, when Bingkun ran into trouble and wanted to get the old house back, Wu Qian fell out on the spot and completely forgot the kindness of the past.
in the eyes of the "six Little Gentlemen", Zhou Bingkun can help with anything, so when he encounters any problem, everyone comes to him as soon as possible.
from work to house, from the small busyness of parents to the hustle and bustle of life problems, great help brings not gratitude, but the requests of others to take more and more steps forward.
to his friends, he repeatedly sent charcoal in the snow, almost on call, but in the end, all he got was resentment.
at last he couldn't stand it and shouted out the words that had been held in his heart for a long time: "is it mine?"
it costs too much to be a good man without a temper, and it pays too little to be a good man without complaint.
Bringing together style with comfort, our 50s style dress for cocktail are tailor made to match any occasion. The easy way with the highest high value.
I quite agree with a point of view that Wang Xiaobo once said:
"people have two major obligations to live in the world, one is to be a good person, worthy of life." The other is not to get used to other people's bad habits. "
walk in the world, the more "easy to bully" you are, the more indiscreet others are, because there is no need to take into account your feelings.
the more you have no sense of boundaries, the more you agree to everything and tolerate it every time, the easier it is for others to hold you down, because you don't have to worry about your emotions.
never let your tolerance become a bargaining chip for others to bully you. If there is nothing to retreat, stick to your own principles.
Don't be soft when it's time to refuse, and you don't have to back down when you reach the bottom line.
as the saying goes, "Tiger dew, majestic snake will be good, crane if bright clawed eagle is also lame."
once someone takes an inch and pushes his nose to his face, he has to think of ways to deal with it.
with tolerance and tolerance, you will find that there are fewer and fewer bad guys around you.
psychologist Wu Zhihong once said:
"We are always used to talking about sacrifice, we are used to talking about patience, we are always worried that we will hurt others, and we are also afraid that we will be hurt.
but the reality is that it is not easy for adults to destroy each other.
and when others perceive that you are a difficult person, you are more likely to be respected and have a good relationship. "
Wanqing, a writer, met a very aggressive colleague when she was an intern in a company.
he is a bull poached by his boss from Wall Street, and he is straight with the world.
anyone who doesn't do a good job will immediately point it out, and his words are sharp, often making the listener look gray, even in front of the boss.
but as a result, the boss will laugh at himself and say, "the more powerful you are, the more grumpy you are. as a boss, you should have the capacity for people."
moreover, the boss is going to give him privileges.
but Daniel was ungrateful: "what you are doing is wrong. The rules should apply to everyone, and no one can make an exception."
is it possible that colleagues will hate such an inconsiderate person?
Wanqing said, "No! We all like him very much. "
once saw a very interesting survey:
which one would you prefer, a person who is kind and everything is agreed on, or a person who is angular and recalcitrant?
most people choose the latter. Why?
A netizen explained it very well:
"everyone has his own edges and corners, which are the magnetism of a person."
the communication between people is like a magnet, there will always be attraction and repulsion, and the old man has turned himself into a piece of wood without magnetism because he hides his love and hatred.
if each magnet finds a magnet of its own kind and huddles together, what's the difference between a lone piece of wood and being rejected?
the soft sheep finally become the delicacy on the table, while the fierce wolf becomes the king in the field.
only if you take yourself seriously will others take you seriously.
I like two verses of Gu Cheng very much:
"roses wear sharp thorns and do not turn into thorns.
it just defends its Chunhua from being ravaged by wild beasts. "
give birth to edges and sharp thorns, not to hurt others, but to better protect ourselves.
as Yu Hua said:
"when we treat the world fiercely, the world suddenly becomes gentle."
when you become difficult to mess with, the world will be gentle to you.