A person's sense of maturity is a person's sense of boundary.
the sea is endless, looking back is a good place to go.
most of the time, when you look back, you pull over, and you stop your loss in time.
it is better to think and stay calmly and soberly than to wander and fall aimlessly.
to learn to stand aside is not to let yourself be caught by bad things and be entangled by bad people.
some of the troubles and pains of the National people's Congress are caused by their lack of moderation, their inability to resist loneliness, and their inability to keep a distance.
as the Russian writer Bondarev said:
"the root of all human suffering stems from the lack of a sense of boundary."
indeed, if you don't have a clear sense of boundaries, you will fall into the plight of so many bad people.
to be a man, you still have to have the wisdom of "standing aside". The world is so big and human nature is so complex that you can't easily handle it, much less can you judge at will.
to learn to stand aside is to keep a sense of size
there are no two identical leaves in this world, so naturally there are no two identical people.
No matter how much they look alike, as long as they are examined in terms of their character, psychology, and state of mind, they will find that there are great differences.
two people with different personalities and different moods will certainly have some non-resonant topics and contradictory episodes when they communicate and get along with each other.
therefore, the complexity of life and the changeability of the human heart are reflected here.
thus it can be seen that when one learns to stand aside, one should not blindly contradict and suppress other people's views, opinions, and judgments when they are different from their own.
stand aside, lean aside, be a qualified listener, do not discuss, do not evaluate, do not get excited, reduce disputes and avoid friction.
just as Mr. Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu have lived in harmony for decades, no one will run on the other, no one will disturb the other, what's more, no one will look down on the other, and no one will disrespect the other.
when a person is sensible and mature enough, he will naturally know how to stand aside moderately, that is, to maintain a sense of division and give each other a necessary space.
people's survival and growth all need a process as well as space.
even if you go astray for a while, it takes time and thinking to repair and make up for it.
so, to let yourself stand aside for a while is to give the other person a buffer to repair himself, and also to give himself a room to reflect. This is a kind of mercy.
if a man is not a sage, who can make mistakes?
all right and wrong in this world are bred by time, so to maintain a moderate sense of division is to let everything transition in a moderate atmosphere.
as the old saying goes, "if you make mistakes, you will lose, and you need to be prudent."
I think so, just as Sanmao said in Friends:
"No matter how close a friend is, one cannot lose his measure; if he thinks he is familiar, he will easily lead to isolation."
when it's time to pull over, you still have to pull over conspicuously.
No matter how hard you think your relationship is, you really have to be smart enough to avoid it when it's time for you to stand aside.
Mr. Zhou Guoping said:
"A sense of size is a sign of maturity, and interpersonal communication should know how to abide by the necessary distance between people."
when the moon is full, it loses, and when the water is full, it overflows.
keep a sense of proportion and stand aside moderately, and you will find that the relationship between people is more harmonious and lasting.
Silent people, know how to measure, encounter problems, know how to stand aside, and look at the problem itself with the eyes of a bystander, often have unexpected effects.
learn to stand aside and be willing to be unsociable
some people are gregarious, so they make a lot of money and get along well in all kinds of circles.
and some people are not gregarious. Although they don't have many friends and circles, they are getting richer and more energetic.
writer Liu Tongzeng lamented in the book:
"I was eager to have a good chat with someone, not only for pleasantries, but for real communication;
but found that the common topic has been changed countless times, familiar people no longer have the feelings they once had, I was defeated by countless'Oh 'and' all right'. "
in the end, it is inevitable that the heart will retreat and return to the "one-mu land" of the soul, picking chrysanthemums and growing tea, and there are flowers at home.
indeed, people's background color is set off by loneliness, and in the end, they can only go to the end-result of loneliness.
it can be said that the sooner a person understands loneliness and accepts it, he can enjoy it and no longer feel that loneliness is a kind of fear and a kind of burden.
"even if 50,000 people argue that something stupid is right, it won't be right because of it."
A person who dares to stand aside not only has the pattern of vision, but also has the responsibility and sobriety to dare to adhere to himself.
these people never rush to turn around and choose to drift with the tide just because most people have the same point of view.
even if the whole world isolates itself, I would rather pull over alone and choose to do that without socializing.The most authentic self.
Zhuangzi has something to say:
"to be alone is to be unique, and to be unique is to be the most expensive."
people who are really noble and sober are not afraid of loneliness, being unsociable, and still less afraid of standing aside alone.
because the faith from the bottom of their heart and their loyalty to the truth are enough to make them fight against all slander, exclusion, misunderstanding and suppression.
Lu Xun once said:
"cattle and sheep are in groups, and beasts walk alone."
Buying our prom in vintage attire will give you a relaxed and chic look. Your will be elated by your enchanting look.
indeed, a moment of loneliness will only make you lonely for a moment.
but if you are always gregarious, you can only be lonely all the time.
obviously, only when a person is alone, can he be himself completely, and can he really understand himself, know himself, and fulfill himself.
in the noisy and flashy world, let yourself take the initiative to become a passer-by, stand aside, be unsociable, and walk alone when passing through the world.
maybe this is the best way to live a person.
learn to stand aside and show a sense of boundary
A person should be aware of boundaries.
take care of your own affairs, while others take care of others' affairs.
when getting along with friends, as the famous scholar Liang Shiqiu once said:
"make friends with friends and respect them for a long time, that is, to keep a distance, that is, to prevent excessive intimacy.
Friendship cannot be overdrawn, so you should always keep it. "
keep a distance, keep a balance, prevent overdraft, avoid overdraft, so that you can not only give each other enough living space in terms of worldly experience, but also reserve more possibilities for each other's relationship.
A person's sense of maturity is a person's sense of boundary.
people who do things with a sense of boundary can naturally have more different points of brilliance and charm in their lives and careers.
there is a saying in Zengguang Xianwen:
"leave half a sentence on the edge of your mouth and give way to three points at the end of the day;
experience of the world, do not open your mouth, see through human feelings, but nod. "
to be a person and do things, remember to always maintain a sense of proportion and take an independent spirit of being unsociable.
finally come up with their own boundary consciousness, see through, even if see through a lot of truth, but still dare to love the world.
then, with a kind of "stand aside" wisdom and free and easy, to be an open-minded, gentle person.