Only by practicing the pattern of tolerating people can we let our feelings grow deeper and deeper with the changes of the years.
writer Dong Qiao once wrote:
"Middle age is an age that can only feel but not moved;
is the age when there is only sorrow but no anger;
is the age at which miscellaneous thoughts grow longer and articles become shorter and shorter. "
Life is so short, unconsciously, people are middle-aged.
in the workplace, we put down our arrogant posture, learned to make appropriate concessions, and learned to bow our heads.
in the family, we hide the fragile tears, adapt to the firewood, rice, oil and salt, and carry the heavy burden of the family.
in life, we put away the stinging edges and corners, swallow the grievances, and develop an open-minded state of mind.
looking back on half of our life, we gradually understand:
"having the courage to bow, to cultivate the ability to relax, and to cultivate the pattern of tolerance is the greatest maturity of middle-aged people."
the courage to bow your head
in the TV series "years", the protagonist Liang Zhiyuan, after years of touching and rolling, finally realized:
"there is no limit to heaven and earth, and people are limited to heaven and earth.
what you do according to your will must not be a good thing. Only when you make yourself uncomfortable and uncomfortable is where the hope lies. "
when he first entered the society, Liang Zhiyuan was arrogant, conceited and reckless, and he was an outspoken young man in the unit.
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he turned a deaf ear to the earnest persuasion of his predecessors and scoffed at both sides of his colleagues.
even take the blame for others, disdain to explain to the leader, thinking that they are sitting right, and there is no need to bow their heads and admit their mistakes.
later, Liang Zhiyuan was assigned to the undervalued Society of traditional Chinese Medicine and spent three years in a daze.
until she got married and had children, the wife was depressed because of the cramped house, and the son had no money for treatment after being scalded by boiling water.
the grievances and complaints of his family and his failure to accomplish anything were like thorns, which made Liang Zhiyuan miserable.
since then, Liang Zhiyuan lowered his arrogant posture, began to have a good relationship with his colleagues, worked hard to gain the importance of the leadership, learned to greet people with a smiling face, learned to apologize, and handled things smoothly.
the novelist Fitzgerald once said:
"when we are 18 years old, faith is the top of the mountain on which we stand overlooking;
but by the age of 45, our faith has become a cave to hide. " U200d
for young Liang Zhiyuan, his belief may be self-esteem and self-improvement, not afraid of eight years on the bench, and disdain to bend over for five buckets of rice.
but after entering middle age, he had to shoulder the responsibility of providing a rich life for his family and creating a good environment for his son.
in the middle-aged world, there are parents above and children below, carrying house loans and car loans, and there are thousands of troubles in their hearts.
want to stick to yourself but succumb to reality, dissatisfied with reality but forced to make a living.
after struggling in the mud for countless times, he finally chose to compromise with reality.
put down useless self-esteem for a few taels of silver, put away extra face, in exchange for the well-being of the family.
bowing is not cowardice, but that we, as ordinary people, have grown up hard and tortuously after recognizing that life is not easy.
is not to be strong everywhere is the winner, lower the figure to make money, everything can be flexible, is it not a strong person in life?
have the courage to bow your head in order to carry the heavy burden of firewood, rice, oil and salt and prop up half the sky of the family.
ability to relax
at the beginning of this year, actor Zhang Songwen repeatedly appeared in the public eye after the popularity of Gao Qiqiang.
the household name is not only because of his superb acting skills, but also because of Zhang Songwen's commendable sense of relaxation.
from bustling cities to remote villages and towns, many people have psychological gaps and feel depressed.
but Zhang Songwen did not find the conditions difficult. He had a good time in the "shack" in the suburbs.
grow vegetables, prune and water flowers, and feed dogs for a walk.
work at sunrise, rest at sunset, and conscientiously live every ordinary and real day.
on another occasion, because he joined the group and filmed, Zhang Songwen could not go home for the Spring Festival, so he had to have a box lunch on New year's Eve.
someone asked him, "will you complain about your work during the Spring Festival?"
Zhang Songwen replied:
"if I take this job, I know I want it. I chose it myself, so it's no problem."
in the face of unhappiness in life, some people complain and feel anxious, while others conform to the trend and turn around chic.
and Zhang Songwen is precisely the latter. He never complains and adjusts his life to the "relaxation mode".
relaxation mode is neither lying flat nor giving up, but finding an intermediate state that suits you in the midst of inner anxiety and broken decadence.
in the middle-aged world, it is a fluke to get what you want, and it is normal for things to go against your wishes.
maybe there will be a promotion and a pay rise the year before, and then a pay cut and layoff the next year;
maybe one day he is in good health, and the next day he will be ill and hospitalized.
it is possible that one second everything is safe, and the next second there will be an accident.
fateVariables, the pressure of the workplace, the trivialities of the family, the gap of life.
every pile is the truest portrayal of middle-aged people every day.
Life cannot go well, and life is not always perfect.
but if we are anxious when we encounter difficulties and tense when under pressure, we may become more and more tired and exhausted in the future.
instead of living through complaining, let our emotions relax, accept everything, and let nature take its course.
at work, focus on the task at hand and accept it calmly no matter what the result is.
in the trough, do not compete with others, silently practice ability, waiting for flowers to bloom.
learn to live with relaxation, and ordinary days can be full of luck.
the pattern of tolerance
in a talk show, the host asked Luo Yonghao, "has there been any change after becoming famous?"
Luo Yung-hao replied, "began to compromise and slowly learned to respect differences." U200d
when we are young, we are always self-centered. When we encounter different opinions, we want to win or lose, and when we encounter friends who have different views, we want to alienate.
when I have more experiences, I suddenly find that it is more likely to make a relationship last longer to accommodate differences than to talk about right or wrong.
in the book attitude is more important than ability, there is a story that impressed me.
Gaspar, the protagonist, got the offer of a multinational company because of his excellent grades and outstanding ability.
when he first entered the company, Gaspar was cheerful and down-to-earth, conscientious and responsible in his work, and his employees were happy to make friends with him.
but over time, Gaspar found that he and his colleagues in the company didn't get along in many ways.
colleagues like to chat everywhere, but he prefers to read quietly in the library;
his colleague likes to take part in outdoor activities, but he prefers to participate in all kinds of speech competitions.
then, when someone talked to him, he made an excuse to refuse, and when someone asked him to party, he was always absent.
as a result, fewer and fewer people came to Jasper to talk to him, and when there was an activity, no one called him any more.
at this time, Gaspar realized that you should not be too self-centered.
We can stick to our own principles, but we should also tolerate and respect other people's way of life. only in this way can we get a friendly response from others.
only by respecting each other's differences can we make the relationship mature.
after middle age, we gradually understand that the world is not black and white, and that things are neither right nor wrong.
We can stick to our own views, accept each other's differences, understand each other, and seek common ground while reserving differences.
as the writer Liu Na said:
"truly mature people can respect the lives and choices of others, instead of nailing everything to the pillar of shame for people who are different from me."
A long-term relationship is inseparable from mutual tolerance and compromise.
only by practicing the pattern of tolerance can the feelings become deeper and deeper with the changes of the years.
Lin Qingxuan once said:
"when you are young, you pursue the prosperity of life. In the middle age, prosperity falls into the true beauty."
in the first half of our lives, we walked in a hurry, pursued fame and fortune, and lived in chaos.
for the rest of our life, we read thousands of sails, learned to choose, and became light.
keep a low figure and make money in a down-to-earth manner; relax your spirit and live in a calm and unimpetuous way;
accommodate differences and get along comfortably.
, for the rest of my life, may you and I become more mature ourselves in the sharpening of the years, laugh at the ups and downs of life, and still face the ups and downs of life.