Discuss big things, forgive small things, don't argue about right or wrong, and don't turn over old debts.
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as the saying goes:
"money is the best criterion for testing relationships."
who is in charge of money between husband and wife has always been a controversial topic.
some couples take care of their own money, but they end up fighting for money.
some couples have a consistent relationship, even if one party has the financial power.
thus it can be seen that marriage is not a single choice, and it is not a simple option to judge right and wrong.
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different couples have different attitudes towards money, and the outcome of marriage will naturally be different.
what matters is whether couples can agree on the issue of money.
selfish marriage, ignore each other and manage their own money
educator Dewey said:
"the imbalance of normal relations in the family is the fertile soil for all kinds of morbid spirits and emotions in the future."
in many cases, it is not poverty but selfishness that destroys a marriage.
A story is told in
the Secrets of Marriage:
Maya and will are newlyweds with a clear division of labor, one on the outside and the other on the inside.
but when life is difficult and need to support each other, the couple are like strangers living under the same roof.
Maya cooks, washes clothes, sweeps the floor at home, and takes care of children under the age of two.
every time he was busy, will sat on the sofa and never thought of sharing it for his wife.
later, Vail's company had an economic crisis.
is about to close down and go bankrupt, but Maya is unwilling to use her own money to help her husband tide over the difficulties and watch her husband fall into the abyss.
the two complain and dislike each other every day, and each other just wants to defend their own interests.
the originally sweet and happy couple became a resentful couple in this way;
even made the act of revenge for infidelity, and the marriage gradually broke up.
selfishness is the most taboo in marriage.
if both people only care about their own interests and look on the other's joys and sorrows, in the long run, no matter how big the eaves can stop the wind and rain.
writer Sanmao and her husband, Jose, have a mutual friend Migai.
after Miguel got married, his wife Betty was in charge of the family's finances and almost monopolized the family's economic rights.
once, Jose drove Migai to the airport.
just as the door closed, Betty suddenly let out a cry of surprise and ran to the car.
then he dragged Mi Gai out of the car, took out two banknotes from his pocket and said:
"Jose will take you there, and your taxi money can be handed over."
Miguel is a little angry:
"I can't miss a dime on the plane. I'm going to stay there for seven days."
but Betty is plausible:
"you have food and shelter in the dormitory. What kind of money do you need?"
then she turned to Sanmao and said:
"We have saved nearly 200000 yuan. If I am not strict, we have no future."
Betty never considered Miguel's feelings and forced her to live her way, pushing her husband farther and farther away.
over time, Migay became reticent, the communication between the two became less and less, and the marriage existed in name only.
Marriage is not a person's business, and family is not a person's responsibility.
neither party's absence or selfishness can lead to a happy marriage, nor can it support the stable future of two people.
people get married because life is not easy and need to find someone to be in the same boat.
between husband and wife, only by understanding each other and getting to know each other, can we make the relationship stronger and keep the family warm.
A friendly couple will discuss and manage money together
A survey abroad shows that
78% of couples who talk about money at least once a week are happy;
and only 50% of couples who talk about money only once in a few months are happy.
husband and wife often talk about money, which contributes to the harmony of their relationship.
as writer Tang Xiaoxiao said:
"Don't think that settling accounts is blasphemous. Only by calculating the accounts clearly can you enjoy love with your eyes closed."
she has shared her own experience:
In the first few years of marriage, she was in charge of the family's finances because she had to take care of the children at home.the Secrets of Marriage:
Maya and will are newlyweds with a clear division of labor, one on the outside and the other on the inside.
but when life is difficult and need to support each other, the couple are like strangers living under the same roof.
Maya cooks, washes clothes, sweeps the floor at home, and takes care of children under the age of two.
every time he was busy, will sat on the sofa and never thought of sharing it for his wife.
later, Vail's company had an economic crisis.
is about to close down and go bankrupt, but Maya is unwilling to use her own money to help her husband tide over the difficulties and watch her husband fall into the abyss.
the two complain and dislike each other every day, and each other just wants to defend their own interests.
the originally sweet and happy couple became a resentful couple in this way;
even made the act of revenge for infidelity, and the marriage gradually broke up.
selfishness is the most taboo in marriage.
if both people only care about their own interests and look on the other's joys and sorrows, in the long run, no matter how big the eaves can stop the wind and rain.
writer Sanmao and her husband, Jose, have a mutual friend Migai.
after Miguel got married, his wife Betty was in charge of the family's finances and almost monopolized the family's economic rights.
once, Jose drove Migai to the airport.
just as the door closed, Betty suddenly let out a cry of surprise and ran to the car.
then he dragged Mi Gai out of the car, took out two banknotes from his pocket and said:
"Jose will take you there, and your taxi money can be handed over."
Miguel is a little angry:
"I can't miss a dime on the plane. I'm going to stay there for seven days."
but Betty is plausible:
"you have food and shelter in the dormitory. What kind of money do you need?"
then she turned to Sanmao and said:
"We have saved nearly 200000 yuan. If I am not strict, we have no future."
Betty never considered Miguel's feelings and forced her to live her way, pushing her husband farther and farther away.
over time, Migay became reticent, the communication between the two became less and less, and the marriage existed in name only.
Marriage is not a person's business, and family is not a person's responsibility.
neither party's absence or selfishness can lead to a happy marriage, nor can it support the stable future of two people.
people get married because life is not easy and need to find someone to be in the same boat.
between husband and wife, only by understanding each other and getting to know each other, can we make the relationship stronger and keep the family warm.
A friendly couple will discuss and manage money together
A survey abroad shows that
78% of couples who talk about money at least once a week are happy;
and only 50% of couples who talk about money only once in a few months are happy.
husband and wife often talk about money, which contributes to the harmony of their relationship.
as writer Tang Xiaoxiao said:
"Don't think that settling accounts is blasphemous. Only by calculating the accounts clearly can you enjoy love with your eyes closed."
she has shared her own experience:
from the important expenses of the family to the baby's milk powder diapers.
keeps her busy and her life in a mess.
later, when her work became busier and busier, she decided to manage the money with her husband.
husband and wife set aside time every year to do financial arrangement and planning:
they will sort out every expenditure, control unreasonable expenses, make plans in advance for the coming year, and take care of the needs of everyone in their family.
the joint planning of money makes their life like a fish in water, and the relationship between husband and wife is extremely harmonious.
Egienberg, author of the Financial Plan of husband and wife, thinks:
"most couples have confusion about money, but the way they face the confusion is to do nothing, which is a serious mistake."
if you want not to hurt your feelings financially, you must communicate with each other properly and achieve the same goals.
communicate openly and openlyAttitude towards money, financial planning, will not let negative emotions pile up more and more, this is also a sense of security that can not be ignored in marriage.
I quite agree with emotion expert Tu Lei's sentence:
"husband and wife is a deep fate, which starts from two people falling in love with each other until the end of one's death. U200d
and to maintain this fate, the most important thing is to respect and negotiate. "
discuss and communicate a lot, can avoid a lot of contradictions, and is an indispensable lubricant for family harmony.
Marriage is not a battlefield for one person, but a haven for two people to snuggle up to each other.
Joint financial planning is the most basic respect for your partner.
the best appearance of a family is to make your partner feel
my world has always been with you, regardless of each other;
my future plan always has you, never give up.
in a happy marriage, who has the ability to manage the money
Maori wrote in "stay-at-home Dad":
"Home is the mutual support of two people.
some people contribute money, others contribute, and there is no need to divide men and women, let alone win or lose. "
there is a kind of clown fish in the sea. They live in coral.
the coral is responsible for providing shelter, while the clown fish is responsible for attracting plankton for the coral. The two help each other, trust each other, and get along happily.
in fact, husband and wife are like the relationship between coral and clown fish. Only by giving full play to their own advantages and giving to each other can marriage be achieved.
in the TV series "Chicken feathers fly into the Sky", Luo Yuzhu is a business genius.
she is also talented in financial management, knowing how to increase revenue and reduce expenditure and maximize the value of money.
husband Chen Jianghe's financial ability is average, so he has 100% confidence and trust in his wife's management of the family's finances.
under their mutual trust and joint management, the standard of living is booming, and the two are in love until they grow old.
scholar Nina O'Neill said:
"Trust is the most important trait that two people share in a marriage, and it is also indispensable to building a happy and growing relationship."
with trust, you can reduce disputes about money; if you have peace of mind with each other, you can live a better and better life.
never forget that money is an indispensable part of life, but not all of it.
in the second half of life, instead of quarrelling over "managing money", it is better to "worry less" and make the marriage look the best.
▽
there is a sentence in Pride and Prejudice:
"A marriage that only thinks about money is absurd, and a marriage that doesn't think about money is stupid."
the happiness and misfortune of life are often related to money, and so is marriage.
some couples manage their own money, which seems to be independent and respectful, but it is an excuse for selfishness.
some couples manage money together, discuss and discuss, treat each other sincerely and live in harmony with each other;
some couples do not care about gains and losses, those who can manage the money, slowly feel the happiness of a long stream of water.
A good couple will be clear about money, and a good marriage will not hurt feelings because of money.
, may your partner have you in his heart and eyes.
discuss big things, forgive small things, don't argue about right or wrong, and don't turn over old debts.
help each other, hand in hand for life.
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