Never forget to love yourself, that is the beginning of lifelong romance.
an out-of-date actress died at home the day before Mother's Day in 2009.
because the phone calls went unanswered for two days in a row, my friend came to the house with a falling mood and forced the door. Unexpectedly, it was very quiet and frighteningly quiet when he opened the door.
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the actress lay motionless on the ground. According to the medical examiner, her time of death was three days ago.
after the news came out, there was a great grief in Hong Kong, and the deceased was actress Liu Yupu.
when it comes to Liu Yupu, many friends in the mainland may not remember it. She played Zhao Min in the last century, dressed in white and valiant.
some people commented that compared with Zhang Min's "riding a white horse, she looks back and smiles in a variety of ways, leaving a generation of stunning" and Jia Jingwen's "Gu Ling strange, beautiful and delicate", Liu Yupu is the "real Zhao Min".
but she is not like "Zhao Min" Princess fate, encounter loved ones, but ill-fated, sad life.
Childhood was abused by fathers who preferred sons over daughters, young people were mentally tortured by their husbands who acted as cash machines, and middle-aged people struggled in a broken marriage and were subjected to inhuman abuse.
she has spent her whole life longing to be loved, but she will never be loved. In her limited life, she has tried to commit suicide more than a dozen times, cutting her wrists, swallowing pills and jumping into the sea.
as she wrote in her self-description:
"I have been committing suicide. My parents who gave birth to me do not love me. Even my husband, who has loved me for 20 years, has done this to me. I can't believe that anyone in the world will still love me."
causes the psychological shadow of "lack of love"
some people say: "Lucky people are cured by childhood all their lives, while unfortunate people are cured by childhood all their lives."
Liu Yupu's tragedy was doomed from the moment she was born.
she was born into a family in Kaohsiung, Taiwan. She was independent and smart since childhood. She is better than her brother and brother, but she is not loved by her parents because of her gender.
her father is an old-fashioned man stationed in Kinmen all the year round.
since his daughter was born, he has been so cold that he doesn't even bother to hide his "dislike".
my mother, an ordinary worker, put Liu Yupu in foster care at her aunt's house because she worked in Taipei.
her aunt was as cold as her father, and Liu Yupu lived nervously at her aunt's house. at that time, Liu Yupu wanted her parents to take her away from this suffocating life like angels.
but who would have thought that the arrival of her parents was the beginning of her entry into another abyss.
when my father came back from another job, his career was frustrated, and he became grumpy and often drank a lot. In memory, his father either broke things or beat his wife. Slowly, even the five-year-old himself became his punching bag.
every time she hid in the corner before her father came back, hoping to dodge a bullet.
but his father went crazy and was so insane that no matter how tightly Liu Yupu hid, he could find her and beat her up.
her father has a strange habit: the family is not allowed to close the door when taking a bath.
Why? When people take a bath, they must be naked, they can hit wherever they want, without cover, and they can't get out of the house.
Liu Yupu has been beaten naked countless times, and this situation continued until the emergence of her gender consciousness.
once, she locked the door quietly in the shower, while her father kicked the door directly and punched and kicked her naked.
Mother, timid and cowardly, turned a deaf ear to what her father had done.
later, in order to protect herself, her mother also began to attack the young Liu Yupu, abusing, ignoring her, and even cooperating with her father to carry out verbal attacks on Liu Yupu.
her father's beating and indifference; her mother's abuse and disregard, so that she could not feel the warmth of home or the love of her relatives, so she longed for someone to rescue her and wanted to escape from this so-called "home" all the time.
the experience of childhood caused her the psychological shadow of "lack of love", accompanied by her whole life, and had a potential and far-reaching influence on the development of her character, emotion and marriage.
some people say: "Children who lack love in childhood are very sad when they find love all their lives."
in a word, it takes care of the rest of her life.
Marriage that was supposed to be redemption
dragged her deeper into hell
the rare dawn in Liu Yupu's life comes from show business.
by chance, she saw the recruitment announcement from Shaw Pictures and did not hesitate to sign up.
in the early days of Shaw Brothers, her position was to "beat her daughter". Because of her childhood dance foundation, her play was recognized by the company and the audience.
with the gradual mastery of her acting skills, Liu Yupu is becoming more and more important. The films "pawn draw" and "three trips to Shaolin" have gained a good reputation, her fame is also getting bigger and bigger, and her resources are getting more and more and better and better.
at the age of 21, she successfully won the role of Zhao Min in Heaven Sword and Dragon Sabre. As soon as she appeared on the screen, she attracted the attention of the audience.
Liu Yupu's immersive interpretation is integrated with Jin Yong's Zhao Min County master who is "calm and intelligent, proud and arrogant, playful and lively". The real valiant and heroic posture is also noble, which can be called "the most beautiful Zhao Min".
after Zhao Min, Liu Yupu is famousRising, film contracts continue, if you can seize the opportunity, acting career to the peak, just around the corner.
but the shadow of her original family has always been her nightmare. No matter how successful her career is, she cannot make up for her spiritual and spiritual loneliness, nor can she comfort her sense of security.
there, she met the gentle priest Zhang Jianzhong-- not only enlightened her, but also gave her a coat when it was cold and had a sore throat. Zhang Jianzhong's thoughtfulness and care made Liu Yupu fall completely.
the lack of love in her childhood made her so eager for someone to love and love her. She never thought that the happiness she didn't have was the key point for her to rely on Zhang Jianzhong. It was not pure love, it was just a brief sympathy given to her by Zhang Jianzhong.
Liu Yupu married Zhang Jianzhong in 1985, despite opposition from her parents and fans, when she was 22 years old.
after marriage, she chose to slowly withdraw from show business, set her heart on being the strong backing of her husband, followed him abroad, returned to Taiwan, and soon gave birth to two daughters and completely returned to the family.
all the friends around her advised her not to give up her career, but she was so blinded by profit that she could give up anything for love.
even when Zhang Jianzhong was short of money, she made a comeback and used all her salary to support her husband's career.
originally thought that Zhang Jianzhong was the redemption of her life, but after she retired from the entertainment industry, she lost her former fame. Zhang Jianzhong also lost her former tenderness, becoming more and more indifferent, and her ferocious nature began to be exposed.
the two often quarreled over trivial things. when fierce, Zhang Jianzhong also shook his fist at Liu Yupu. Almost every time, he struck a heavy blow, and her body was black and blue everywhere. she chose to bear it in order to give her daughter a complete home.
but her patience did not get her husband's understanding, but made her husband worse. Once, she was directly sent to the hospital.
such a life often plunges her back into the dark nightmares of her childhood and is eventually diagnosed as severe depression by doctors.
in order to get rid of the pain, Liu Yupu frequently goes in and out of mental hospitals. This made the vain Zhang Jianzhong feel very humiliated. Every time he heard others say that his wife was mentally ill, he beat and kicked Liu Yupu to vent his anger.
Liu Yupu, who can't stand the physical and mental abuse, wants a divorce.
but when the parents knew that their daughter was getting divorced, they came here on purpose, not only not to comfort, but to complain. In their view, the divorce of their daughter was a disgrace, so they didn't give her a good face.
in 2007, at the insistence of Liu Yupu, the couple finally divorced. Because of her depression, her daughter awarded it to Zhang Jianzhong. In order to get her daughter's visiting rights, Liu Yupu left home clean.
homeless, she wanted to turn to her parents, but her parents not only refused to take her in, but also scolded her.
under the torture of her original family and husband, Liu Yupu chose to commit suicide again and swallowed 200 pills. Fortunately, her friend found her in time and pulled her back from the dead.
if it were not for marriage, Liu Yupu might still be a popular actress.
but she is used to relying on Zhang Jianzhong and neglects her own strength.
Louise Hay wrote in the Reconstruction of Life: "the strength of the heart is the antidote to the lack of love."
this is true. You must learn to love yourself before you yearn for others to love you.
she saved her heart
but can not redeem the body destroyed by fate
after the divorce, with the help of friends, Liu Yupu started a small business selling paintings, a small house, colorful paints. Although life is not rich, it also leads a leisurely and quiet life.
she sometimes goes out to give speeches and take part in public welfare activities. during that time alone, she wrote her recent experience of depression into "Open my Heart," which aims to encourage people with depression to redeem themselves as well as others.
years of depression gave her a heart attack, but she didn't give up, lived a steady life and did what she wanted to do.
she also has her own concerns and often misses her two daughters, so she also tries to forgive her parents and reconcile with them with a new self. To be exact, it is to reconcile with the past and let yourself go.
I think at that moment, Liu Yupu came out and finally got rid of depression. Unfortunately, fate still did not take care of her.
one day in May 2009, she volunteered to send her father her own paintings and called her mother, hoping to ease the relationship.
maybe she thought, don't worry, everything will be all right. Unfortunately, May 10 of this year is Mother's Day. She has not been able to see her two daughters and will never see her again.
May 14, 2009, a friend has been out of touch with her for three days, and fear will be the worst result.
so forced to break into the door, unfortunately, indeed.
Liu Yupu's time of death was May 11, the first day of disappearance. The cause of death was a heart attack.
seeing such a result, can her parents regret for a moment what they did to their precious daughter? Did her ex-husband ever really love her?
after her death, her ex-husband Zhang Jianzhong and his two daughters came back from abroad, crying bitterly. He finally realized Liu Yupu's lonely struggle at that time, and the daughters could no longer hear their mother's advice. Now, I can only wave goodbye and miss it with tears.
in the twinkling of an eye, Liu Yupu has been away for 14 years, and there are still many new viewers who are amazed by her Zhao Min.I can't help but learn about her life, only to find that she has passed away, leaving only a piece of lamentation and regret.
however, compared to her sadness, I hope you will remember Liu Yupu's optimism and strength.
in the last few years of her life, she has reconciled with herself, without any resentment, only nostalgia for life.
A person's life will encounter many setbacks and sufferings, but life is really beautiful, and there are still many beautiful things for us to experience and feel, so we should live well.
never forget to love yourself, that is the beginning of lifelong romance.