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Beijing Bo Sinology

I have seen such a fable.

A farmer saved an injured bear on the mountain.

later, the farmer's crops were spoiled by the play of the bear.

the farmer was so angry that he scolded the bear with his fists and punches and scolded: animals will always be animals!

, throw the bear on the mountain.

soon after a few years, the farmer went up the mountain again and met a tiger.

the farmer was so scared that when he was desperate, a big bear tried his best to drive the tiger away.

the rescued farmer recognized the bear he had thrown away and said with emotion, "that's very kind of you. Come home with me. Does it hurt where I hit you before?"

Bear replied sadly, "the wound is long gone, but what you said is still very painful."

with that, he left without looking back.

language is a kind of barren power to hear into the heart.

for the rest of your life, you only need to do these three things: don't worry, don't sound high, and you can't beat your breath.

in this way, heaven and earth are wide and get twice the result with half the effort.

take your time, convince people with reasoning

it is written in Di Zi Gui: "the power is convincing, but the heart is not, the heart is not, and Fang is speechless."

if you press people with strength, the other party will inevitably be unconvinced; only by persuading people with reason will others have nothing to say.

born as a human being, you should pay attention to the ways and means of speaking, think twice before speaking.

never open your mouth, let alone speak harshly.

although it is a world that is easy to make people utilitarian and impatient, many people think that sharp-tongued and aggressive arguments are reasonable.

do not realize that only when you speak and do things properly can you win the conviction of others.

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when Mr. Tao Xingzhi, an educator, was the headmaster, he once saw a boy throwing a brick at another classmate.

the fellow teacher immediately stopped it and ordered the boy to go to the headmaster's office to accept criticism.

when Mr. Tao returned to the office, seeing that the boy was already waiting at the door, he took out a piece of candy and handed it to him and whispered, "you arrived earlier than me. This is your reward."

the boy held the sugar in his hand and didn't know what to do.

then Mr. Tao took a piece of candy out of his pocket and gave it to him:

"this candy is also given to you as a reward. I won't let you hit your classmate, so you stop immediately, which shows that you respect me very much."

the boy took the candy questioningly.

Mr. Tao took out the third candy and said:

"as far as I know at that time, you hit your classmate because he bullied girls, which shows that your heart is filled with a sense of justice."

then the boy woke up and cried and said:

"Principal, I made a mistake. Even if my classmate is wrong, I should not treat him in this way."

Mr. Tao took out the fourth piece of candy:

"now that you've admitted your mistake, I'll give you another reward, and it's time for our conversation to be over."

instead of being upright and arrogant, Mr. Tao did not have a straight face, but calmly explained the "reason" clearly and clearly.

there is a saying: "righteousness needs euphemism, straightness and softness."

what can really convince people is never a clear truth, but a calm attitude.

low-pitched, sentimental

Bai Juyi said: "those who move people's hearts, do not start with affection, do not start with words, do not speak."

nothing that can influence the heart is earlier than emotion, nothing is earlier than words, and nothing is nearer than sound.

in life, there are often differences of this kind and contradictions like that, which make us lose control of our emotions and raise a high voice when we disagree.

with great fanfare, not only do you have low EQ, but also make you lose your aura.

those who practice the mind understand the logic of "reason does not lie in a high voice" and understand the truth that "it begins with emotion and attacks from the heart".

soldiers for unknown reasons went to Wang Yangming's residence to make trouble. Wang Yangming was not angry, but kind.

it was winter at that time, and he wanted the villagers to vacate some vacant rooms for their officers and soldiers to live in, so he sent someone to post a notice: officers and soldiers have left their homes, so please make it convenient for the villagers to travel more!

also personally boos to the officers and soldiers:

"now that it's winter, you can live in those houses with straw and quilts. Don't freeze out."

Wang Yangming's emotional words and family-like gesture made the soldiers ashamed and moved, so they stopped doing evil.

later, Wang Yangming was able to confess his grievances.

people are emotional creatures, and if you are kind to others, they will not be cowardly to you.

nothing soothes the heart more than the sincerity of soft words.

I am so angry that I can't beat Derong.

Laozi said, "the staff sergeant smelled the way and walked it diligently; the corporal heard it and laughed."

means that the superior people listen to the word and firmly put it into practice, while the lower people listen to the word and laugh loudly.

the difference between people lies in their moral character.

people with different moral qualities have different perceptions and thoughts about the same thing.

to say a word, people with different virtues will have a different tone.

most of the time, how a person speaks represents what kind of person he is.

as the saying goes: those who are virtuous are the same as virtue, and those who lose are the same as those who lose.

those who are not good will be domineering, while those who have both ability and morality can be reasonable and forgiving.

is like a story in Zhuangzi.

A man named Shi Chengqi thinks he is knowledgeable.

when he often heard people praising Laozi, he traveled thousands of miles to visit Laozi.

when I saw Laozi, I found that he was not handsome and the place where he lived was a mess.

so he scolded loudly: "people say you are a wise saint, but I think you are just like a mouse."

instead of getting angry, I asked him softly, "Why do you say that?"

Shi Chengqi said excitedly, "isn't your place like a rat hole?" The food was thrown everywhere in a mess. "

when he saw that I didn't retort, he scolded and left.

the next day, Shi Chengqi felt that he had gone too far and apologized to me again.

Laozi said calmly: "what do you say, I am still me, it does not affect me, nor can it change me."

Shi Chengyi was very ashamed when she heard this.

there is a saying in Cai Gentan: "if you attack the evil of others, you should not be too strict. You should think about how to bear it."

blame others for not saying everything. When you consider other people's feelings, you are already a good person who is considerate and understanding.

to act as a person, it is better to use power to overwhelm others than to be virtuous.

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there is a proverb: "the solid ink is silent and empty, but the full bottle does not move and half shake."

you can tell whether your self-cultivation is good or not.

speaking is a subject to be reckoned with.

those who can control their emotions are not in a hurry; those who are affectionate and righteous are not high-pitched; those who are good in character are angry.

, talk well, face the sea and blossom in spring.

do

person: smile, come

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