Remember to give yourself a way out and be yourself in your marriage.
Love is a matter for two people, but marriage is a collision between two families.
the famous philosopher Hegel once said:
"Marriage is essentially an ethical relationship, which is not limited to two people, but two families."
in love, you can fall in love with the person you like, you love me strongly, you can just care about your own happiness, and you don't have to think about anything else.
but marriage is not. Marriage carries the expectations of two families.
if children rush into marriage because of love, parents will suffer if they get hurt in the marriage.
as people who have been through the past, parents still have to remind their daughters not to take detours and not to be hurt if they can't take detours.
after all, to marry a man is to marry his whole life and his whole family.
Please tell your daughter that no matter who you marry and how much he loves you, you should leave yourself three ways to retreat.
No matter how rich her mother-in-law is, she has to make money on her own
in the TV series "the first half of my Life", Luo Zijun graduated from a famous university.
she had a job of her own, but Chen Junsheng said to her, "Don't go out to work. I'll support you for the rest of your life."
Luo Zijun, blinded by the beautiful oath, quit his job and bet his life on Chen Junsheng because of this sentence.
during his days as Mrs. Chen, Luo Zijun lived the life of a rich wife who did not know the sufferings of the world.
she is also very content with the status quo and never wants to go out to work or learn a skill to be self-reliant.
because she feels that her husband is so capable that she doesn't need to run around to make money at all.
Chen Junsheng swore that he loved her and raised her seriously.
but after careful consideration, he asked for a divorce that was serious.
after leaving Chen Junsheng, Luo Zijun's sky is about to collapse.
because he has been in his comfort zone for a long time, Luo Zijun has no ability to live independently after his divorce, let alone has a son to support.
she has no work experience in the past ten years, so she has suffered a lot in finding a job. She wants to go to a big company but does not have the ability to work as a salesman or waitress, and she feels ashamed of herself.
therefore, Luo Zijun once wanted to give up.
but my good friend Tang Jing told her:
"if you don't have the ability to support yourself and your son, then the custody of your son will go to someone else."
facts have proved that no matter how rich her mother-in-law is and how much her husband can make money, only when she learns to make money can she not be controlled by others, be free from fear, and live a safe and comfortable life.
as said in the movie True Love:
"I don't like money, but I know that money can bring independence and freedom. What I like is an independent and free life."
making money on your own is the premise of all happiness.
No matter how much you love someone, you have to love yourself first
Zhihu saw the question: "Why can't you marry someone you love too much?"
A high praise replied:
Love each other is the basis of marriage, such a marriage can be happy and happy, if love is not equal, then too much love for a person will only lead to worry about gains and losses, but also a burden on their own life. "
I think so.
my friend Xiaowen devoted all his energies to her husband after getting married.
Xiaowen is a company executive with an annual income of one million yuan. Her husband stayed at home comfortably after marriage and stopped going to work.
when her husband wants a car, Xiaowen bought him the latest Audi;
the husband wants a house, and he wants to write it down in his own name, saying that he has sense of security. Xiaowen bought him a three-bedroom and one living room without saying a word.
when her husband said he had no salary, Xiaowen transferred him 20,000 yuan a month for living expenses.
someone asked Xiaowen, "he doesn't want to go to the hospital to take care of you when you are ill in hospital. Why are you so kind to him?" Why should you be nice to him? "
Xiaowen retorted: "every few days after I buy something for him, he boos to me, so I want to make more money and buy him more things. I believe he will be better and better to me."
I have heard such a sentence:
"Love a person must not lose oneself, otherwise once lost, even can not find the way back, can only go to the abyss of broken bridge."
it is totally unnecessary to treat each other as all you have and love each other with all your energy because a woman marries each other.
it is difficult for us to tell whether some people, despite their appearance, are sincere or profitable.
therefore, no matter when you love someone again, you can't give up the ability to love yourself.
Love yourself first, choose others first.
only when one lives a wonderful life, one deserves to be loved in the eyes of others.
No matter how far you marry, don't break with your mother's family
A colleague once told me what she thought was from the bottom of her heart:
"A married woman spills water. After a woman gets married, she should reduce her contact with her mother's family, otherwise her small family will not be at peace and may even be in danger of divorce. "
she also put it into practice, because she has been married far away, and it takes two or three days to go back to her mother's house by plane, so she has been married for more than five years, and she has never returned to her mother's house.
because I am too busy at work and don't call my family very much, it can be said that I almost lost touch with my mother's family.
I once asked her, "both the mother's family and the husband's family are their own families. If you are married, you will not care about your own family. Isn't that a bit excessive?"
she retorted: "it's so far away that even if there's an emergency at home, I may not be able to get back in time. I can't help it."
later, when she quarreled with her husband and ran out in the middle of the night, she was surprised to realize that she had no family or relatives in this city except her husband's home, and she had nowhere to go in conflict with her husband.
because I was depressed, I called my family in tears, saying that I regretted having married so far away and that I was homesick.
I didn't expect that two days later, my parents, who were far away in my hometown, appeared in front of me.
the first thing her mother said when she saw her was, "Xiar, Mom is here."
parents hate to see their children bullied.
it can be seen that at the critical moment, a woman's family is always the backing of a woman.
like Sheng Minglan in "do you know or not", she has a close relationship with her grandmother since she was a child, and even if she married someone, she
keep worrying about my grandmother.
when she learned that her mother-in-law and Aunt Kang set her up, her grandmother rushed to back her up without saying a word.
the main reason why Minglan survived the crisis under the protection of her grandmother is that she knows how to maintain a good relationship with her mother's family.
so when she needs it, her family can show up in time to help her.
No matter when, no matter how many difficulties you encounter in life, your family will always love you most and love you most.
after marriage, smart women all know how to manage their relationship with their mother's family.
living a life, no one can guarantee that their life is plain sailing, and no matter how good the marriage is, there will inevitably be subtle cracks.
Women are not synonymous with weakness, nor is marriage the ultimate destination of women.
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what a woman will look like after marriage depends on her own choice. as a parent, you must show your daughter the way.
, may every woman remember to leave a good way out for herself and be herself in her marriage.
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