Kindness is never right, but it needs to be given to the right person.
have you ever had such an experience in your life:
A good friend borrows money and refuses to do so. He would rather suffer losses than help.
travel, no matter when, take care of other people's feelings;
the company competes, compromises, and gives away its own opportunities.
and true kindness requires not only wisdom but also the strength to resist aggression from the outside world.
there is no "thorn" kindness, can only be asked for; erect "thorn" kindness, in order to resist the cold of life.
when you are alive, you can have good thoughts, but don't pull out your thorns easily.
good without a bottom line is worse than evil
writer Thoreau wrote in Walden: "once a good deed goes bad, it stinks."
the same is true of getting along with others. If goodness has no bottom line, it will only encourage human greed.
in the variety show "Strange stories", teacher Chen Ming once shared such a story:
his father, who was born in the countryside, settled down in the city and became a policeman through personal efforts in his early years.
later, when his father had a part-time job, relatives in his hometown often came to him for help for a variety of reasons.
there are those who need to transfer their registered permanent residence, those who borrow money to build houses in their hometown, and even those who directly ask for the introduction of objects in the city.
his father is enthusiastic and always responds to the needs of his relatives.
over time, more and more relatives turn to their fathers for help, and their demands rise from parents to neighborhood disputes.
most of the time, my father himself is exhausted by these things.
Father gradually lost patience, the whole person was exhausted and completely collapsed.
until once, when my father lost his temper at his relatives through the strength of his drink, they left in despair.
since then, relatives have kept their mouths shut, and the family has finally lived a quiet life.
A good heart cannot be exchanged for heart-to-heart, and a moment of softness will only get you into a quagmire.
American psychologist Les Babnell once said:
"kind people are afraid of hostility and use non-refusal to gain recognition from others."
do not know that the good without a bottom line will only get used to those who make progress by an inch.
they are like black holes, slowly consuming your kindness and enthusiasm, even if there is only a little good left, they will swallow it up.
help people to be ungrateful for a hundred times, and hold a grudge once if they don't help. Since the heart can never be satisfied, then set a boundary for it to let goodness grow into edges and corners.
A true wise man has a ruler of kindness. When he meets excessive demands, he learns to refuse.
bravely say no in the face of unreasonable demands.
in this way, we can be comfortable in complex interpersonal relationships and enjoy a free and easy life.
you can be patient, but you don't have to give in step by step
the TV series "come on! In Mom, Zhou Nannan, played by Zhang Yuqi, is a single mother.
she works in a bank. On weekdays, she has a good relationship with her colleague Xiao Chen, and sometimes asks Xiao Chen to help her take the shift.
once, the bank was going to run for account manager. In order to give her son better living conditions, she decided to seize this opportunity to run for office.
unexpectedly, this decision dissatisfied Xiao Chen Xinsheng, a colleague who secretly prepared for the election.
she not only rumored that Zhou Nan-nan was having an affair with Director Wu, but also secretly inquired about the customer information that Zhou Nan-nan was responsible for.
by unscrupulous means, he snatched customer resources and repeatedly stumbled Zhou Nannan.
at first, Zhou Nannan had compassion for Xiao Chen and did not study what she had done, but only gave a verbal warning.
however, Xiao Chen didn't listen to anything and only wanted to take shortcuts. Instead of reining in, he intensified.
if Zhou Nannan had swallowed her anger and allowed Xiao Chen to misbehave, she would have been forced to leave in the end.
in life, situations like this abound. A moment of softness is regarded as weakness, but a moment of forbearance leads to unbridled temptation.
however, when you show your cards and strength and prove yourself with actions and results, you will win the respect and appreciation of others.
there is a good saying: "A man is good at being deceived, and a good horse is ridden."
kindness is never right, but it needs to be given to the right person.
in the face of people in prison, kindness is timely help.
when you meet someone with ulterior motives, kindness is cruel to yourself.
not everyone is worth being gentle, and not everything has to give in step by step.
born to be a human being, please have both kindness and edge, and you can go up against the wind and go against the wind.
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Life is short, protect your thorns
I have heard a saying: "do not be thorns, but roses with thorns."
No matter how beautiful roses are, they will only be picked at will without thorns, and so will people.
without the protection of thorns, kindness will only become weakness.
writer Li Xiaoyi shared his own experience.
11 years ago, she still worked for the newspaper and worked hard for many years. She not only accumulated a lot of high-quality customers, but also was appointed director of the advertising department.
the higher the position, the greater the responsibility, and she dared not relax her work for a moment.
until the baby is lying on the birth bed, she is still sending messages to the client to confirm the execution and payment of the advertisement for the next three months.
she thought that with everything arranged, she could rest assured to take maternity leave.
who ever thought that less than a month after giving birth, a client who had worked with her for many years sent her a message saying that her business was going to be pried away by her colleagues.
and her colleagues also said that she delayed giving birth.
when she heard this, she got angry and went back to work at the newspaper before the maternity leave was over.
on the first day of work, she wrote the whole story into a report, attached a certificate and asked the leader to solve it face-to-face.
she was advised to rest in peace, or she would lose face, but she responded firmly:
"face is for those who have face, and those who are shameless do not deserve face."
from then on, she left a reputation for being "difficult to mess with", but no one dared to take advantage of it at work.
in the adult world, when you show weakness, you will be bullied, and when you are strong, the whole world will give in to you.
kindness never represents weakness, your "thorn" is not only a kind of attitude, but also a kind of wisdom of life.
instead of saving face and thinking about others, it is better to leave the burden of the good old man and be a "difficult person to talk to".
only by growing sharp thorns and having a hard shell, can we face the ups and downs of the world and make your kindness precious.
writer Keigo Higano once said:
"there are two things in the world that cannot be looked directly at, one is the sun, and the other is the human heart."
the sun can only be seen from afar, not directly, and the complexity of the human heart is not allowed to be tested.
goodness with "thorns" is a kind of ability, which is not only a shield against external harm, but also a sword against malice.
A sign of one's true maturity is to be responsible for one's own kindness.
whenever, don't let your kindness lose its background, learn to raise the threshold of doing good, stick to your bottom line, and live your own edges and corners.
the rest of your life is not long. May you always keep your original heart, love yourself, and walk the world chic.
: there are three points in the book, source
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