Instead of fighting over meaningless things, focus on yourself and live your life.
in the debate circle, there is a law called "multiplication of differences":
if there is a difference of opinion between the two sides, then the difference will double after each argument.
because if you want to convince each other, when both sides speak, they will once again look for evidence for their own views.
so, the more you argue, the more you believe in your point of view.
in daily life, there has never been a distinct black-and-white right or wrong, just standing from a different point of view of "the blind touching the elephant."
is like-minded; it is normal to have different views.
when people reach middle age and hit the wall again and again, they will gradually understand that facing differences and not arguing is the highest counterattack.
90% of arguments
Mr. Yang Jiang once said:
"I don't argue with anyone, and I disdain to argue with anyone.
in life, we will meet all kinds of people.
if we don't like a person, we must win or lose. We have already lost from the beginning.
I saw a video on the Internet about an intern and a leader going to eat grilled fish.
after the grilled fish came up, the intern immediately found that the fish was not fresh and called the restaurant owner to argue with him.
the leader immediately stopped it and said to the boss, "it's all right, he's drunk!"
seeing that the intern looked confused, the leader explained:
"first of all, it doesn't taste good. Will we still come to this store?
second, do you want him to make money for such a deceiving restaurant owner?
third, do you think he will change it for us? "
the intern said angrily, "this shop is so deceitful that I will definitely not come back." However, it is estimated that the boss should not admit that the ingredients are not fresh, and the possibility of changing them is indeed slim. "
the leader smiled and nodded:
"that's right. Since he won't come again, I know he probably won't change." Why should we argue about this, affect our emotions and waste our time? "
in life, many problems can not be solved by argument, and many things can be explained without using words.
there are many contradictions in the adult world, there is no need to speak bluntly, let alone fall out.
there is a metaphor, which is very vivid, saying that an argument is sometimes like tickling, the more you scratch, the more itchy you become.
in fact, most arguments are just emotional venting and do not have any substantial improvement on the event itself.
not arguing is not a mistake, but an open mind and a trade-off.
instead of finding out from other people's mouths, I am right and you are wrong all over the world.
it is better to enjoy the prosperity of a person in your own heart.
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you can never convince
people with different cognitive levels
in the face of ignorant people, instead of arguing loudly, it is better to take a step back and give way.
endless arguments, not only can not solve the problem, but also make themselves exhausted.
in the American TV series Friends, there is such a passage, which is interesting and real.
at a dinner party, archaeologist Ross was shocked to learn that his friend Phoebe didn't believe in evolution.
he asked Phoebe why he didn't believe it, and Phoebe thought Darwin's conclusion was too simple.
this made it harder for Ross to accept. He tried to convince Phoebe with all kinds of expertise and said, "Evolution itself is a scientific truth, and there is no need for you to tell whether it is true or not."
but Phoebe was indifferent to this.
Ross is still not reconciled to it, taking the trouble to sit next to Phoebe at dinner, explaining the theory of evolution at length.
Phoebe still ignored it and said impatiently, "Why did you force everyone to agree with you?"
Roston was speechless, but he didn't stop there, but simply carried a whole box of scientific research reports and some 200 million-year-old fossils to prove it.
but Phoebe doesn't look at all kinds of evidence brought by Ross and always sticks to her point of view.
Rosen's theory is absolutely rigorous and correct, but he forgets that Phoebe is just a masseuse and doesn't understand science at all.
is different and there is no need to understand. Different levels, there is no need to explain.
you stand on the top of the mountain and tell him that there is a vast ocean in front of him; he can only see desolation halfway up the mountain.
people tend to believe things that they can understand.
drink with intimate people and chat with congenial people.
are different, and you can never argue about right or wrong.
endless arguments will only damage each other's relationship and waste your life in vain.
if you don't argue, you win
have read such a story.
A young man asked the Zen master: what is the secret of happiness?
the Zen master said, "Don't argue with fools."
the young man immediately retorted, "Master, I totally disagree with that."
the Zen master looked at him, smiled and replied, "you are right." I stopped talking.
fools like to compete for high and low, but wise people take retreat as progress.
this is also the case in life. Most of the time, senseless disputes will only lead you into the trap of others and consume the originalIn your own life.
A short film went viral some time ago.
A man went out and took a taxi. In the course of driving, a car in front of him suddenly braked and almost collided with his taxi.
then, the driver in the car in front immediately rushed out of the car and began to abuse the taxi driver.
"how did you drive? Are you crazy. " The driver had a hideous face and unpleasant language.
but the driver just listened calmly to these words without a word of rebuttal.
the man was puzzled, so he asked the driver, "how can you be so calm and kind?" We haven't done anything wrong. Why should we listen to his abuse like this? "
I have benefited a lot from the driver's explanation so far.
he said: "you know, some people are like a garbage truck, they walk around with irritability and anxiety, and when these garbage emotions are filled, they may fall on you."
there are always some negative emotions in life that affect the people around you.
in the face of negative emotions, we should not be sponges and absorb them all without reason. Instead, we should be wipers and put them out rationally.
just like this driver, separate it with positive attitudes and negative emotions with waving and smiling, send it off, and then continue to live your life with a smile.
10% of life is made up of what happens to you, and the remaining 90% is determined by how you react.
instead of competing with something meaningless, focus on yourself and live your life.
avoiding unprovoked arguments and setting aside time to improve yourself is the highest level of self-discipline.
I have read such a paragraph:
"when arguing with others, the center of the world is somewhere else; when not arguing with others, the center of the world is itself."
not arguing is not cowardice, but knowing how to weigh the focus of life.
the most open-minded way of life is:
do not understand your actions, but respect your choices; do not agree with your actions, but understand your helplessness.
, may we all stay away from the noise of the outside world, keep peace of mind and live our own prosperity for the rest of our lives.