Only by practicing the power of dullness in marriage can we protect a lifetime of happiness.
Green above the point
author Junichi Watanabe said:
"behind the mutual tolerance of husband and wife, there is an excellent insensitivity that supports and protects them all the time."
what can make an intimate relationship last for a long time is the insensitivity rooted in the heart.
seemingly foolish appearance, an unworldly appearance, in fact, implies a transparent heart, can turn swords into friendship.
it is easy to fall in love, but it is not easy to live a long life. If you want to have a stable and long-term marriage, you need some "insensitivity".
learn to control anger and turn sensitivity into insensitivity
A quarrel in the morning describes the daily life of a couple, which resonates with many people:
when I get up in the morning, the wife prepares breakfast nervously in the kitchen, while the husband gets up slowly and washes.
when he saw the toothpaste squeezed out by his wife's fingers, he not only frowned.
then there was a complaint from his wife, warning him not to put his bedroom slippers into the bathroom.
as he listened to his wife's constant nagging, a wave of anger rose in his heart.
throw toothpaste at his wife and say loudly:
"how many times have I told you that toothpaste is squeezed from the back, not from the middle? when did you remember?"
A small matter, the sensitive couple turned it into a big conflict, and neither of them had breakfast.
the wife's busyness in the morning came to naught, while the husband went to work with anger.
Marriage is a life for two people. Maybe we shouldn't care too much about our feelings and make ourselves too sensitive.
otherwise, the needles are against the wheat, and both of them are hurt.
A long-term marriage must turn the big things into small ones, and if you can tolerate them, you will be tolerant.
Hu Shi is a famous genius. Although his wife, Jiang Dongxiu, comes from a famous family, she is only a beginner in writing, and she often makes a series of mistakes when writing letters.
this marriage, which is incongruous or even bizarre in the eyes of others, is managed by them because of the insensitivity of both sides.
Jiang Dongxiu turned a blind eye to Hu Shi's affair rumors and followed him as long as there was no trouble.
and Hu Shi dotes on Jiang Dongxiu, jokingly calling himself an "old wife slave".
in marriage, some things are "almost". If you worry about it too much, it will only add to your troubles.
of course, insensitivity is not laissez-faire, but skillfully dealing with problems.
sensitive people can't control their temper and always detonate themselves in the first place.
while insensitive people can ignore the stimulation of unhappiness and choose a calm way to resolve embarrassment.
there is no perfect life, there is no perfect person, the happy atmosphere is created by both sides.
know how to let go and stay away from quarrels and injuries
in the history of our country, there is a woman known as Mrs. Cheng. He is the wife of Su Fu and the mother of Su Shi and Su Zhe.
Su Fu liked to travel when he was young, but he failed many times.
she has no complaint about this. She thinks that her husband is talented and independent, and that as long as the time comes, he will stand out.
while persuading her husband to feel at ease, she picked up the yarn hub skills she learned at her mother's house, from spinning to going to the market by herself.
with his wife's support, Su Jing devoted herself to books.
during the reign of Song Jiayou, he became an official.
Mrs. Cheng was born into an official family, but she did not dislike her husband's poverty, nor did she fall into resentment because of her husband's temporary unhappiness.
instead of quarreling with tolerance and blame with support, it not only fulfills the husband, but also gives the children a good environment to grow up.
this is Mrs. Cheng's way of running a marriage, giving each other space, respecting her partner's choice, and avoiding a lot of unnecessary quarrels.
Mr. Yang Jiang:
"even if the world is cool sometimes, the heart should be prosperous, shallow joy, quiet love, deeply understand, slowly let go."
Let go, face a voice that is different from your own, and dissolve unhappiness with a dull feeling.
everyone has his own way of living, so why put his foot in other people's shoes.
the hardest thing in the world is empathy. Don't always want to change others, just be yourself quietly.
before meeting you, he has formed a stable personality, which can not be changed in a few words. Instead of entangling, it is better to let it go.
and the other party will appreciate your generosity because they have enough space to pursue and grow.
learn to let go in marriage so that you can protect each other from harm.
filter emotions, marriage needs to be "insensitive"
the short film "neighbor's window", which won the Oscar for Best Live Man, records the daily life of a middle-aged couple.
the pregnant wife was exhausted by her three children and longed for her husband to lend her a hand.
but my husband either works overtime at work or fiddles with computers at home.
the wife complains that her husband is not considerate of himself, and the husband thinks it is very hard for him to earn money to support his family.
each other lived with grievances and gradually fell into the Cold War.
at this time, they saw the neighbor opposite through the window, and the couple were very much in love with each other.
the two people compare them with their spouses in their hearts, and the more they like each other, the more disagreeable they are.
until one day, heThey learn the truth about their neighbors:
Men have cancer, they just try to keep the good times that belong to each other.
when you hear the female neighbor:
"I really envy you. You have lovely children and a husband who can make money, but I have nothing."
at this time, the wife realized that the chicken feathers in her own eyes were out of reach in the eyes of others.
he will set aside time on weekends to go out with the children.
there is a saying:
"Don't let bad emotions confuse the world and upset the mood."
if life is a little tired, try to filter out negative emotions.
to live in a different mood, make feathers from a place of life into feather dusters to sweep away the dust of marriage.
A good partner is a filter for each other to filter out unhappiness and discord.
only by learning to filter can we seek common ground while reserving differences.
No one is born wise, and the joy in marriage comes from filtering out unpleasant feelings.
it is recommended not to touch these four "dead corners" in marriage:
do not capture each other's words
inadvertent words cannot help deliberation, and the two people living in the besieged city are too familiar with each other.
sometimes regard the other person as another self and say some open-mouthed words. If you are too careful, you will misinterpret the meaning.
Dynamite in their sophistication, halloween wedding dresses makes your ensemble royally glamorous. Just take these selections into consideration.
only by eliminating sensitivity can we distinguish the joke. Even if we have gone too far, we pretend not to hear it. After a long time, both sides forget it.
it is the way of life for husband and wife to be more dull and not to be literal.
Don't snoop on each other's secrets
Qian Zhongshu said:
"Life is a siege. Once you enter it, you will be surrounded by all kinds of troubles of survival."
excessive annoyance in marriage is to snoop on each other's secret, which is sometimes exaggerated by one's own imagination and only adds to the annoyance.
everyone is an independent individual, and there are always secrets that they do not want to tell, so there is no need to delve into them.
respect each other's privacy and give each other enough space to live, so that you can never get tired of being together for a long time.
"what should you do?" and "it's your fault." I've seen too many accusations in marriage.
teacher Luo Xiang said:
"No moral kidnapping, morality is always a kind of self-discipline."
everyone's understanding is different, have their own bottom line and plan for a thing, we should regard him as an independent person, not his own shadow.
be more insensitive, don't always want to tie each other to the cross.
Don't criticize each other's differences
"it takes a hundred years to build the same ferry and a thousand years to sleep together."
there must be a side to be appreciated when two people come together, but there are no two identical leaves in the world.
people. If they experience different things, they will think differently.
A good relationship is to achieve each other, grow together, and allow each other to be different from yourself.
and maintain this difference in order to go to the good life without distractions in the long center of life.
be more insensitive and cultivate yourself by blaming each other.
the family is the harbor of life, and only when the wind is calm and calm will it be peaceful and beautiful.
if the wind is surging all the time, it will make people tired.
being too sensitive or serious is not the best mode of marriage.
calm down and ease up in an accident. It seems to be dull, but it's actually the best way to get along.
"insensitivity is a talent, a power that can make people's talents blossom and bear fruit and carry forward."
2/3 of family life should be run-in in the Ashram of marriage. A good marriage promotes individual growth and achieves a better life.
A bad marriage is suffocating.
learn to be angry and don't raise the matter to a higher plane of principle.
know how to let go and stay away from quarrels and injuries;
filter your emotions and leave the bright side to each other.
whether one's life is successful or not is closely related to the family atmosphere.
cultivate the power of insensitivity in marriage in order to protect a lifetime of happiness.
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