In the second half of your life, only walk with those who cherish you.
I saw a question on Weibo: "what is generosity?"
some people commented: "generosity is a kind of concession, a kind of understanding, a kind of kindness for the sake of people, and also casual."
being generous is a good thing.
however, many people are too generous to others, stingy to themselves, generous to bad habits and stingy to good habits.
to the middle age after wind and frost, I found that life is my own after all. Only by leaving "generosity" to myself can I live a relaxed and comfortable life.
Please put away your generosity in the second half of life.
for those who are ungrateful, be generous
the writer Mo Yan once told about a personal experience.
when Mo Yan was a child, his family was not very well-off. Only during festivals did his family make dumplings.
one year during the Mid-Autumn Festival, his family made some dumplings, but each person could not get a few.
as soon as he brought out the dumplings for dinner, an old man begging came to his door to beg for food.
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when Mo Yan saw it, he gave him half a bowl of sweet potatoes.
unexpectedly, the old man looked at the sweet potato in the bowl and said discontentedly:
"your family eats dumplings, but let me, an old man, eat sweet potatoes. How do your hearts grow?"
when Mo Yan heard this, he said angrily:
"our family seldom eats dumplings at ordinary times, but each of us can barely get a few dumplings this holiday, and we can't even eat half full. It would be nice to give you dried sweet potatoes!"
then his mother reprimanded Mo Yan and gave the dumplings in his bowl to the begging old man before he left.
it was originally a very happy holiday, but Mo Yan felt very lost, and the delicious dumplings seemed to have become bitter.
some people, no matter how much kindness they give, they will not be grateful.
as Mo Yan wrote in "late ripening people": "people with a good heart mature late, and they are urged to mature by bad people."
there are often people in life who only want to satisfy their own interests and are insatiably greedy.
being generous to such people will only make them more aggressive and hurt themselves.
actor Yue Yunpeng has also met such people.
when he was at school, he had a classmate who had a good relationship, and the two kept in touch even after many years of work.
every time a classmate is in a hurry to use money, he always lends it to each other without hesitation.
but he found that the classmate had a problem: pay back a little money first, and then continue to borrow more money.
for example, you pay back 5,000, then borrow 30,000, return 8,000, and then borrow 50,000.
later, he learned from others that this classmate was usually not doing his job, and every day he was fishing, playing cards, and squandering all kinds of money borrowed from hospital, falsely claiming that his relatives were ill.
Yue Yunpeng was so sad that he directly gave the classmate 10,000 yuan as a "break-up fee", bought out the relationship between the two and completely severed ties with him.
once read such a sentence:
"softness without boundaries will only make the other party unscrupulous; benevolence without a bottom line will only allow the other party to act recklessly."
it is true that being generous is a virtue, but once excessive, kindness is not necessarily rewarded.
you can respond with kindness to people who are really kind to you, but when others use your kindness to hurt you, you don't have to force yourself to forgive.
for those who don't know how to be grateful, you can choose to stay away from it. You don't have to feel sorry for the so-called friendship.
in the second half of life, walk only with those who love you.
be generous with ineffective social interaction
Please stop ineffective socializing, it says:
"you are busy socializing, running for the happiness of others, and abandoning yourself in order to be recognized by others. Your life doesn't seem to be yours. In fact, you are not socializing at all, but you are wasting your time needlessly. "
in our lives, we may be faced with moments like this:
A group of alumni reunions that I haven't seen for years, visits from relatives who haven't been with me for a long time, invitations from friends who are not familiar with me, birthday parties for colleagues in the company.
even if you don't like the hustle and bustle, you will be forced to fit in in order to get acquainted with others.
however, sometimes the staggered preparations in the wine bureau can not be exchanged for friends who are sincere to each other.
the writer has shared a past experience in his book.
when he was in college, he ran for the position of head of the Organization Department of the Student Union and deputy editor of the school's literary society.
before long, the head teacher gave him the matter of handling the teacher's qualification certificate, which once made him a popular figure in the school.
his glamorous identity increased the number of friends around him. He walked around the campus every day, greeted him head-on, and was overwhelmed by the parties that followed.
he thinks he has friends everywhere, but he sees the reality when he doesn't have the money to pay the rent.
it turned out that the friends who were called brothers at the party not only did not come to help him in the snow, but also disappeared when he borrowed money.
he realized that the so-called true friends are delusions and that socializing that invests a lot of time and energy is simply a waste.
, he devoted himself to writingIn the process, I will no longer participate in this kind of ineffective social interaction.
A philosopher said:
"invalid 'friends' are like superfluous items that seem to actually exist, but they are actually useless at all."
people who are really wise know how to use their time for pushing cups to do something really meaningful.
the famous writer Zhou Guoping is such a wise man.
he refuses to socialize, thinking that interviews, wine bureaus, etc. are meaningless to him.
as he wrote in his book:
"I read and write at home every day and enjoy ordinary human affection with my family, which makes me feel very full and happy, but if I have to chat with people who don't matter, that's what I can't stand the most."
in fact, there are a lot of social activities that are not worth paying too much attention to. For meaningless dinners, take painstaking efforts to socialize, put aside generously, push as much as you can.
spend time with your family, fill yourself up, spend time on things you like, and manage your life well.
be generous with unhealthy habits
there has been a survey that: in today's fast-paced society, about 60% of people have health risks, of which unhealthy habits are the main reason.
be generous with unhealthy habits, and it will punish you in a more painful way.
on National Day last year, Huang Xiaoming wrote on Weibo: "people still can't indulge themselves."
the picture shows him on an intravenous drip in the hospital: his whole arm is covered with hives.
it turns out that late the night before last, he posted Qingdao's "hard dishes" on Weibo: roasted sea sausage, wild chaos, hundred flowers snake grass water, and so on.
also interacts happily with netizens in the comment area according to the characteristics of delicious food.
due to the different symptoms of urticaria, mild skin blistering allergies, serious chest tightness and fever, and even life-threatening.
as the saying goes, "it takes a serious illness to understand that the body is the most precious asset."
it's easy for a man to indulge himself, but it takes a lot of perseverance to restrain himself.
in the CCTV documentary "my Family, my country", host Wang Ning interviewed Mr. Lu Yuanjiu.
he is a pioneer of China's space industry and winner of the "July 1 Medal".
even though he is 103 years old, he is still Hale and hearty.
remember to ask, "do you have any food you are determined not to eat now?"
Mr. Lu Yuanjiu said, "now I basically don't eat all cakes and so on."
100, he also wrote a note: "not greedy, not anxious, not annoyed, not lazy."
stick it on the door and restrict yourself strictly.
it is really admirable for a centenarian scientist to have such healthy living habits.
A good habit is a stepping stone to a better life, while an unhealthy habit is a stumbling block on the way forward. Only by kicking it can the road of life be smoother.
maintain healthy eating habits, grasp the regular schedule, live a good life, and don't treat yourself badly.
in the second half of life, we need to keep healthy and give our loved ones more support.
writer Su Qin said:
"everyone's time and energy are limited. Learning to subtract can make life lighter."
Life is very short, before we know it, we come to the second half of life. We can't keep time, but we can spend our limited time on more meaningful things.
to those who consume goodness, be generous so that your heart will not be disappointed.
for ineffective social interaction, put aside generosity in order to feel the sweetness of life;
put aside the unhealthy habits in order to give more support to your loved ones.
, the rest of life is very expensive, please put away your generosity, love yourself, and feel the infinitely wonderful life.
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