everyone is not an island, and people are connected to each other.

if there is a connection, it is easy to have friction and resentment.

getting along with each other is a subject of learning, and interacting with others is a subject for everyone to practice.

teacher Zhao Yuping said that the wisdom of getting along with people can be condensed into "seeing what it is, realizing its necessity, and letting nature take its course."

identify the human heart from the past, see the necessity from the human nature, and see the fate from the time.

see cause and effect clearly, maintain the boundary, do not refuse to come, do not stay, is the highest state of getting along with others.

look at it already

in the Spring and Autumn period, Duke Huan of Qi, with the help of Guan Zhong, became the overlord of a generation.

several decades later, Guan Zhong became seriously ill.

Duke Huan of Qi went to visit and asked him about national affairs.

Guan Zhong said: "changing teeth, erecting minks and prescribing prescriptions cannot be trusted."

Duke Huan of Qi was puzzled.

he asked, "they love me more than their families. Why can't they be trusted if their parents don't go back to the funeral even after they die?"

Guan Zhong said: how can a man really love a patriotic monarch if he doesn't even love his closest relatives?

Guan Zhong was seriously ill and died soon.

Duke Huan of Qi turned a deaf ear to his words and still attached importance to the three people.

later, when Duke Huan of Qi fell ill, the three men rebelled and starved him to death in the palace.

the Book of Jin says: "the beginning of humanity should not precede filial piety."

filial piety to parents and love for family members is the beginning of all upbringing.

if a person is indifferent to his family, it is useless for you to be kind to him.

even the closest people can't warm their hearts, let alone us outsiders?

in Romance of the three Kingdoms, Cao Cao besieged Xuzhou.

Lv Bu surrendered out of the city.

Cao Cao was eager to love and wanted to accept Lv Bu's effect.

Liu Bei said, "Don't Lord Cao remember what Lv Bu did to Ding Yuan and Dong Zhuo?"

in a word, it directly ruined Lv Bu's life.

both Ding Yuan and Dong Zhuo are the godfathers of Lv Bu and regard Lv Bu as their own.

but for the sake of profit and regardless of kindness, Lv Bu's two godfathers died at his hands.

even if Cao Cao loves talent, such a person is absolutely afraid to use it.

as the old saying goes, if you see one section, you will know everything.

if you see a person's past performance, you can infer his future performance.

if a person is not good enough to the people closest to him, then his attitude towards his friends can be imagined.

look at what it already is, and know it is inevitable.

in the face of such a person, choosing to stay away is the greatest protection for yourself.

realize its necessity

as the old saying goes: the poor have no one to ask in front of the street, and the rich make guests and friends thousands of miles away.

the matter of seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages is engraved in people's bones.

most of the time, we have to believe in human nature, not people.

only by understanding the underlying logic of human nature and realizing its necessity can one really produce wisdom and tolerance.

during the warring States period, King Meng Chang had 3,000 guests, surrounded by the top contacts and resources of Qi.

but after Mr. Meng Chang was dismissed, these people left one after another to draw a clear line with Mr. Meng Chang.

later, King Meng Chang regained the trust of the King of Qi and returned to the capital, and these people came to join him one after another.

Mr. Meng Chang was angry and vowed to let these people be severely humiliated.

Feng Jing, a doorman, said, "there are many rich and noble, but there are few poor and humble, of course."

when you are rich, everyone comes to cling to you, and when you decline, everyone shuns it. This is a normal thing.

it's like in the morning, people rush to the market, and in the evening, they leave the market one after another.

it's not that people like mornings and hate evenings, but because what they expect is gone in the bazaar.

seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages is the result of human nature, so there is no need to be angry or blame.

at that time, Cao Cao had only 20, 000 troops, but Yuan Shao had 100, 000.

during the standoff, Cao Cao gradually showed defeat, and he himself began to withdraw.

it was not until the counselor offered advice and Cao Jun burned Yuan Shao's food and grass that Cao Cao was able to defeat Yuan Shao and turn against the wind.

after the war, Cao Cao found many letters of surrender from Cao Jun generals in Yuan Shao's residence.

many people suggest that Cao Cao should set an example and punish him severely.

Cao Cao ordered the documents to be burned, saying, "Yuan Shao is so strong that I can hardly protect myself, not to mention them."

the forgiven generals are grateful and their morale is stable.

it is human instinct to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages.

if one has enough insight into human nature, he will not be easily censured.

Professor Xiong Peiyun said: we have to forgive the darkness of human nature.

most of the time, instead of forgiving someone, we choose to forgive humanity.

believe in the good side of human nature, but can also accept the bad side of human nature.

only such a person can truly reap compassion and tolerance.

Let nature take its course

du Fu once wrote a poem

the former and Gao Li boarded the father's station in the evening.

Cold Wuji JieshiThousands of miles of wind and clouds come.

recall the happy time when I played with Gao Shi and Li Bai.

at that time, all three of them were frustrated in officialdom and had endless topics for each other.

from Kaifeng to Shangqiu, three people drank and chatted, played the piano and composed poems, fell in love with the landscape, and were happy.

but in the face of the huge waves of the times, the three people made different choices.

Gao Shi defected to the old emperor Xuanzong, du Fu to the new emperor Suzong, and Li Bai to Li Kui, the eternal king.

by virtue of military merit, Gao Shi has become a hero of meritorious service.

Li Bai became a rebellious minister because Yongwang rebelled against him.

former friends can no longer fit into a picture.

Li Bai, who was imprisoned, wrote to Gao Shi to plead for mercy, saying that he had no rebellion and hoped that Gao Shi would be lenient and cut him some slack.

is like a stone sinking into the sea.

how can a general fighting a rebellion intercede for a rebellious courtier?

in the end, Li Bai was banished to Yelang.

writer Haiyan said:

"how many good friends are there in the world, who are of the same age and like-minded, and could have never crossed each other all their lives.

but who would have expected a sudden change? since then, we can only watch Tianya have a long way to go. "

things change and life changes.

the relationship between people can never be forced.

when each other's lives no longer converge, the friendship between friends will often come to an end.

each of us can only accompany each other for a while.

cherish it when you meet it, and try to let it go after separation.

in the 23 year of Kaiyuan, Meng Haoran paid homage everywhere in the capital, seeking fame.

Wang Wei appreciated Meng Haoran's talent and took the initiative to take in Meng Haoran.

in the course of poetry, the two appreciate each other and hate each other too late.

usually go sightseeing, feast and write poems together.

Wang Wei personally drew a silk portrait for Meng Haoran, "the wind is falling, and it is as cool as life."

Meng Haoran wrote poems praising Wang Wei and cited him as the first confidant in his life.

but later, Meng Haoran offended the emperor and had to leave the capital.

although Wang Wei is full of heart, he has no choice but to leave.

he said, "just go. I won't ask any more questions. Baiyun is endless enough to amuse itself."

there is nothing I can do, but I no longer ask questions or ask for retention.

fate is coming, and it can't be blocked. Fate has come to an end, but I can't stay.

feelings are real, and so are regrets.

instead of thinking about it, try to put it down and look down on each other.

people gather and disperse in the wind, not by you and me.

Let nature take its course and take care of each other is the best blessing to each other.

▽

Xunzi said: human life cannot be without groups.

No one can live alone in the sea. Everyone is an island. Only by watching each other can the whole land be connected.

the relationship between people is not only a way of communication, but also a self-cultivation.

see clearly that cause and effect is wisdom, understand that human nature is tolerance, and know that going with fate is the realm.

, may we all gain sincerity, make good friends and walk side by side with the right person for the rest of our lives.

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