The greatest stupidity of a person is to find a reason for everything from his family.
Zeng Shiqiang, a famous lecturer, told a story.
there are two families, one is noisy and restless all day, while the other is quiet and harmonious.
the family who quarreled wondered why the neighbor's family could be so harmonious, so he came to visit and find out.
the guest looked dazed.
the owner made an analogy:
"if the bike was stolen, someone immediately said it was my fault because I rode out and didn't lock it. The other person said where it was your fault. I broke the lock.
when everyone thinks it's their own fault, they won't quarrel. And you quarrel because you are all good people, and it is others who make mistakes. "
living under one roof, there will inevitably be friction.
if everyone insists that they are right and others are wrong, the result is that the more noisy the situation becomes, the more frustrated the family becomes.
on the contrary, finding the reason from yourself is the beginning of a prosperous family.
the biggest internal friction of a family is blaming each other
Liz Murray, the orator, had an extremely unhappy childhood.
my parents are unemployed and quarrel all the year round.
Mother complains that father is not doing his job; father scolds mother for being gluttonous and lazy.
seeing that her parents blamed each other, Liz and her sister followed suit, quarrelling and quarrelling.
when the doors and windows are broken, they falsely accuse each other of sabotage; when they fail in the exam, they all say that the other party influenced them.
the house is dirty and messy. The family only blames others, and no one does anything to clean it up.
as the days get poorer and poorer, they blame their families for their bad luck and curse each other.
living in such a family, everyone is depressed and exhausted.
when Liz was 12 years old, her father finally couldn't bear to run away from home, and her mother gambled in her self-abandonment. She and her sister were forcibly sent to the welfare home.
the originally neat family broke up in this way.
it is said that home is the refuge of life, but once the noise stops, the house is full of chicken feathers.
I have a deep understanding of reviewing Liu Zhenyun's "three Autumn in one Day" a few days ago.
Chen Changjie and Cherry were originally a couple that everyone envied, but after they got married, they lived their lives like chicken feathers.
as big as giving birth to children and as small as buying food and cooking, they always find fault with each other and find fault with each other.
in the trivial quarrel, the inner tenderness disappeared and was replaced by hostility and anger.
later, Cherry bought a handful of stale leeks and was blamed by her husband and hanged himself in anger.
the greatest misfortune of a family is not poverty, but internal friction of recrimination.
domestic internal friction, once it becomes the norm, like termites gnawing on dams, will destroy life little by little.
Weibo has a super comment # when do you feel the most aggrieved #, one netizen's answer is poignant:
"it's not that I was bullied by outsiders when I was a child, nor was I reprimanded by my boss when I grew up, but that I made a mistake. I blamed myself for being sad, and people who were close to me were not only not relieved, but also constantly blamed."
most of the time, we can withstand the blows of the outside world, but not the pickiness of our families.
Life is a big river, and home is a boat that carries us through the wind and waves.
with less blame and more tolerance, we can work together and ride out the storms of life smoothly.
A person's greatest stupidity is to find a reason from his family
someone asked teacher Luo Xiang, "Why do we think strangers are nice while our families are full of mistakes?"
Luo Xiang replied, "because we prefer abstract people to concrete people."
strangers appear "perfect" in our imagination, while family members are always examined because of "concreteness".
once there is friction, it is easy for us to become judges and try our best to find out the problems from our families.
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psychologist will Bowen came into contact with a female "treatment group" at work.
this is a support group made up of housewives to share life and relieve loneliness.
will was lucky enough to be invited to attend, but after only a few contacts, he found something was wrong.
Housewives get together not to share the joys of life, but to hold "condemnation meetings" for their families.
this one complains that her husband is too lazy, the other complains that the children are too naughty; this says that housework will never be helped, and that mother-in-law can't even make sandwiches.
every time they have a meeting, the housewives come angrily and walk angrily. When they get home, they inevitably have a big quarrel with their families.
some people even have the idea of divorce and fall into pain and anxiety.
the greatest stupidity of a person is to find a reason for everything from his family.
letting go of everyone's shortcomings, ignoring the efforts of our families and forgetting the beauty of the past will only make us tired of looking at each other and even more so.
there was a lady who complained about her husband on the Internet.
the family is in chaos, the child is in trouble, and the parents are ill. Whenever something happens in life, the husband can always find a reason from her.
"you can't coordinate your time well", "you don't talk to your parents in the right tone", "you're too...There is no self-discipline and things are at sixes and sevens.
in her opinion, her husband is not like her family, but like Party A negotiating the contract, constantly finding fault and asking her to improve.
writer Wang Haicheng says that the most difficult company in the world to run is the family.
Home is a safe haven for emotion, not a reasonable debate field.
if we want family harmony, we all need to say more "it doesn't matter" and less "it's your fault".
reflection on yourself is the beginning of a prosperous family
once asked him about family problems.
my friend was so annoyed that his child didn't practice the piano seriously that he couldn't help reprimanding him loudly.
the child's mother and grandmother couldn't bear to watch it, so they stood in the way, and this "parent-child conflict" immediately escalated into a "family war."
he was extremely depressed and complained to the classics. unexpectedly, he said that he was wrong, but he had to reflect on what was wrong.
my friend followed the advice and began to think.
he remembered from his own growth experience that he knew his "hope for success". All because of his humble origins, he wanted to compete with his children.
he also thought of the recent bottleneck in his work, and it was his inner anxiety that made him impatient to speak well.
after he figured it out, he sincerely apologized to his family and defused the family dispute cleverly.
Classical saying: "all smart people have a systematic concept and value the relationship between the elements of the system."
Family is the biggest system in life, and family is an inseparable element.
only staring at others to find problems will block the effective communication between family members, while learning to reflect can form effective interaction.
@ Mingqian Tea
when I was traveling, I passed by a thriving fish ball shop.
people who buy fish balls stand in a line of more than ten meters every day.
she entered the store curiously and found that everyone in the family thought he was a "bad guy".
the bowl and chopsticks were broken, and the boss hurriedly said that he was careless. The landlady said that she had put it in the wrong place. The old mother, who was in her seventies, hurriedly came over and said that she had not helped.
from this detail, Mingqian Tea understands that everyone is responsible for the prosperity of the family.
"look at others with one eye and leave one to examine yourself."
this sentence is also suitable for family business.
when we no longer cling to our own position and change our position in reflection, we will no longer criticize our family members.
quarrels and accusations are gone, understanding and care can naturally take root at home and prop up the future of a family.
there is a saying in Zhu Zi's Family motto: the family is in harmony. Although the family is not good, it also has its own happiness.
the family is in harmony, the luck is long; if the relatives are not in harmony, the family fortune is in decline.
if we look for reasons from ourselves and manage our relationships well, we will naturally be able to protect our families and make our days flow and prosper.
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