there is a problem with Zhihu:

"Why is it more and more difficult for middle-aged people to be happy?"

there is a highly liked answer:

"is very concerned about the experience of grievances, too attached to endless desires."

after middle age, although we have more than before, we have fewer and fewer happy days.

in fact, life itself is not short of happiness, but we are blinded by the fog of life.

writer Bai Luomei once said:

"be an open-minded person, learn to plant the moon in the water, in the narrow heaven and earth, cool alone in troubled times."

when you reach middle age, close the door behind you and leave the past behind you before you can start a new journey.

close the door of emotion

in life, we will encounter a lot of bad things.

for example, when you meet an unreasonable person, you can't help quarreling with him in public.

in the end, he not only lost his dignity, but also delayed things.

you have to pay for all the bad emotions.

once saw a video of "takeout smashing things in a restaurant" circulated on the Internet.

it's time for dinner, and many takeout staff are waiting for dinner in a restaurant.

one of the takeout staff waited for a long time but could not wait, so he was in a hurry to urge the order.

the salesgirl, who was so busy, also said angrily:

"it's no use shouting any more before the meal comes out."

it was this sentence that made the takeout man lose his reason. He grabbed the lunch box on the table and began to shake it wildly.

at this time, the male clerk in the kitchen heard the noise and held the leaky spoon in his hand.

just hit the seller on the head and punched and kicked him in the corner.

but the takeout man did not fight, but curled up and cried bitterly.

there is only one minute of video, but it makes people feel uncomfortable watching it.

according to follow-up reports, the shop owner and the takeout clerk reached a settlement and paid 4000 yuan in compensation for medical expenses.

but the takeout worker may be dismissed after this incident.

the store owner also received a consistent bad comment from netizens because of the beating incident, and it is very difficult for the business to go on.

the biggest enemy we encounter on the road of life is out-of-control emotions.

when you feel angry and depressed, your mood is like a powder keg that explodes one by one, injuring others and harming yourself.

Lin Yutang has a paragraph in the article that he deeply agrees with:

"A person who has a clean mind, a clear mind, and no superfluous emotions and delusions will bring sense of security to people."

people who are good at getting rid of emotional shackles with reason can deal with it calmly and easily even if there is a strong wind and waves outside.

when people reach middle age, they practice their emotions well and filter out their negative emotions in order to manage their lives well.

close the door of desire

psychologist Hugh McKay wrote a sentence in the Psychology of desire:

"when one's desires are very small, as long as a little expectation is met, he will feel great happiness;

Majestic and colorful, unique formal wear are absolutely indispensable. This section will free you from time-wasting search.

but when desire increases to a certain extent, happiness will not increase accordingly, but will quickly fall to the bottom. "

when you are penniless, you feel happy with a good meal;

when you have no worries about food and clothing, even delicacies feel dull.

people who are not satisfied will never be satisfied with the status quo.

in the TV series "the Storm," Gao Qisheng is a top student at the Provincial University of Science and Technology.

but because he was young and poor, he was looked down upon all the year round, which led to his extreme inferiority complex and shady character.

growing up in such an environment, he vowed to get ahead and be a good man.

after graduating from college, he found a business opportunity for PHS to make money, so he asked his classmates for help.

but the students deliberately embarrassed him and asked him to perform in public, and even laughed at him behind his back:

"what's the use of being smart?

when I was in college, I was the one who carried my bag. "

this dealt a great blow to Gao Qisheng's self-esteem.

many years later, after Gao Qisheng became rich because of the PHS family, he had an almost crazy paranoia about money, fame and wealth.

he spoke nonsense in public more than once:

"whatever our Gao family likes, it will be ours sooner or later."

I was born to drop a steel bar, it all belongs to the Gao family! "

but unfortunately, with the development of the times, PHS is gradually eliminated by the market.

hundreds of thousands of PHS eventually fell into his hands.

in order to make up for the financial hole in PHS, he decided to take risks and began to sell drugs.

this also led directly to his downfall.

means that the more we do the same thing, the less satisfied it will bring us.

in the end, the more you get, the more you want.

desire is like quicksand. When you think about it and act toward it, you will be wrapped in it.

too much fame, wealth and material is like a bottomless pit, engulfing our hearts again and again.

Zen Master Sotinak said:

"desires in life, such as miscellaneous branches on a tree, cannot be completely eliminated, but they need to be pruned regularly."

instead of running around with endless temptations, noIf you reduce unnecessary material desires, leave time for things that are really worth pursuing.

the second half of life, not captured by barren desires, not blackmailed by flashy life, can live a free and unrestrained life.

close the door of gain and loss

once heard a story:

A painter used to lead a leisurely life except painting, drinking tea and taking a nap every day.

one day, his agent told him:

"two of your paintings have suddenly been sold at a high price."

this makes the painter so excited that he can't sleep at night when he thinks of the numbers on his bank card.

famous painters often go to various salons and dinners.

I have less and less time to concentrate on painting, and I often have insomnia at night.

then one day, the painter saw the doctor and learned that he was caused by irregular work and rest.

from then on, painters began to put off all social activities and return to their old routine.

after a period of time, the painter gradually recovered and lived a quiet life.

the writer Yi Shu once said:

"there are gains and losses, is life, do not be resentful."

the taste of life is often mixed, and only by keeping an ordinary heart can we truly understand its true meaning.

in the final analysis, life is an experience, and all the joys and sorrows, gains and losses are the scenery of the journey.

for us, what really matters is not the scenery, but the mood of looking at it.

only when you are calm in your heart, look down on your gains and losses, and have love in your heart, can you have room to see all kinds of things in the world and taste the joys and sorrows of life.

close the door of right and wrong

there is a proverb:

u 200d "there is a clear distinction between the sun and the moon in the debate between right and wrong." U200d

in the face of gossip, there are all kinds of explanations of right and wrong, but no one will necessarily agree with them.

so don't let other people's thoughts influence your life.

do you remember Chen Guo, a professor at Fudan University?

she used to be fashionable in thought and humorous in teaching style, so all kinds of lecture videos can cause popularity on the Internet.

after becoming popular, Chen Guo appeared in the CCTV variety show "opening speech", a very complicated Chinese character-- octogenarian, which she read as Mao Zhi.

for a time, many netizens thought that although the word was obscure, how could it not be recognized as a professor at Fudan University?

so it's "academic shame" to start attacking her.

gradually, some people accused her of talking about fast food culture, while others spread rumors that she was suspended from Fudan University.

but she didn't pay much attention to the debate.

she claimed that she was originally an ordinary person, but suddenly she was recognized by everyone one day.

so from then on, Chen Guoting posted more Weibo, retired from public view, put aside the tedious rights and wrongs, and spent more time enriching his soul.

the reason why Chen Guo can live such a chic life, as she said:

"Let the noise be noisy. I do it on my own. I have all kinds of amorous feelings and I am at peace with the rest of the world."

there is always a time in life when all kinds of right and wrong are not understood.

but spiritual enrichment, the passage of time, can make the heart no longer anxious.

as the philosopher Montesquieu said:

"if you can't untie the knot, just cut it."

the road of life, turn if you can't get through, and let it go if you can't figure it out. Only in this way can you live without twisting.

how much dawn you see, how much hope you can see; how much despair you see, how much pain there will be.

forgive the unforgivable, close the door of right and wrong, find a clean place, is the attitude of life.

▽

writer Mo Yan once said:

"there are four things in life: come by accident, go by necessity, of course in the near future, and let nature take its course."

in our life, we will encounter a lot of things that are out of our control. Only by being optimistic about every day of our life can we not worry about the past and not worry about the present.

close the door of emotion, have no resentment on the body, worry less in the heart

close the door of desire, do not seem to be distracted, where to cause dust;

close the door of gain and loss, do not expect to get, the heart will be at peace;

close the door of right and wrong, have a normal mind, heaven and earth is vast.

close the door behind you, adjust your mindset on the unknown road, start a new journey of life, and see a different sky.

author

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