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duhaoshu

what is happiness in one's life?

American educator du Lang once tried to find happiness:

from knowledge, he gets disillusionment; from travel, he gets tiredness; from wealth, he gets struggle and sorrow; from writing, all he gets is tiredness.

until one day, he saw a young woman holding a sleeping baby. The father of the child went to the side, kissed his wife and kissed the baby gently.

A simple scene unexpectedly gives me a good sense of happiness over the years.

then du Lang was surprised to find out what true happiness is: "take off the burden, there is happiness everywhere."

Happiness is never an unattainable mountain, and there is no need to pursue it deliberately.

it's just that many people are blinded by secularity and desire, and their hearts ask for too much, so there is no place to put their hearts, which makes us ignore the happiness in front of us.

the most important thing for people is to learn to untie themselves, get rid of fatigue, self-adjustment, you can see a lot of happiness and fun in life.

share 8 advanced lifestyles, let go of tension, and improve your happiness.

01

Don't compare with others

Blind competition will only increase the pain

in the rainforests of South America, there is a beautiful bird that indulges in nesting all day long.

later, some zoologists found that this may be caused by the comparative psychology of Tripterygium. As long as the same kind appears, they will compare whose nests are bigger and better-looking, so they compete to build nests until they are tired to death.

when we are alive, are we not like this? Because everywhere compared with others, tired themselves, only increased psychological pressure.

compare grades with classmates at school, pay more than income when you work, and start a family in middle age, whose children begin to be better than others.

as said in "the World is worth it":

"comparing yourself with others will make you feel lost and jealous, which is meaningless. It will only drain your energy."

people do not fight, the whole body is relaxed; things are not compared, everything is smooth; the heart does not ask, life is calm.

only by walking out of the strange circle of comparison and staying awake, can we live at ease in the troubled world and find the indifference and happiness of humiliation and disgrace.

02

Don't be too demanding

enjoying the process is more important than the result

maybe you are a person who pursues perfection, works hard, loves life, and requires doing the best you can at all times.

once saw a short story.

there is a "circle" missing a corner, I feel inferior from the bottom of my heart, and I am busy looking for that incomplete part every day.

because of the lack of a corner, it rolled very slowly, met a lot of beautiful flowers and lovely animals on the way, and talked happily with them.

until one day, it finally found the fragment on its body and became a perfect "circle".

then it realized that sometimes when it is demanding perfection, it will miss out on more precious things.

most of the time, imperfection is the normal state of life. From another point of view, imperfection may also be another kind of beauty.

instead of blindly demanding perfect results, it is better to learn to accept it calmly and enjoy the happiness of the moment. Life has its own fun.

03

Don't rely on

you have to strive for it on your own in the future

"

the older you get, the more you find that everyone has his or her own life and difficulties. No matter how good the relationship is, it is difficult to guarantee that the other person will support you and help you anytime and anywhere.

in the back, everyone can only rely on themselves, hungry to carry, sick to pain, tired to top.

if you count on others for everything and pin your hopes on others, you will end up being caught flat-footed by reality and have nothing.

as MiyazakiHayao said, "Don't rely on someone easily, it will become your habit."

on the road of life, it is better to rely on the mountain and the sea than to rely on yourself. Refuse to rely on, learn to forge ahead, this is the most solid backing of their own life.

04

Don't set limits

anything is possible to make a brave breakthrough

the host Jing Yidan worked as a radio announcer in his hometown after graduation.

the family is very happy for her. After all, the job is stable and close to home, and the pay is good.

after working for a few years, she was tired of this life at a glance and chose to quit the postgraduate entrance examination in spite of her family's obstruction.

along the way, she suffered twists and turns, lost the election for the first time, lost the election for the second time, and was finally admitted to her favorite school in her third application for the examination.

through unremitting efforts after graduating from her master's degree, she finally becameFor the gold medal host.

as the psychologist Adler said, "No one in this world can limit you except yourself."

We always feel that we are like this, in fact, it is not because of the limitation of ability, but because of self-limitation.

Don't be afraid of failures and setbacks at any time, nor fear the unknown future, but have the courage to break through.

because only an unrestricted life can unlock infinite possibilities.

05

Don't please

the relationship between grievances and perfection does not last long

people will meet a lot of people in their lifetime. How to deal with these interpersonal relationships properly?

writer Su Cen has a point that is quite right:

"A really good relationship is the comfort of two people who let nature take its course without effort, no need to please and work hard."

if maintaining a relationship requires compromise, it is doomed to be scarred in the end.

there are many similar moments in life:

in the workplace, in order to integrate into the collective, constantly meet the preferences of colleagues, there is no bottom line to take unreasonable jobs;

try hard to please someone who doesn't like you, pretend not to care even if you are ridiculed to your face, and try to change yourself.

others get tangled up with a casual remark, because they can't sleep because they don't achieve their expected results.

the reason is that they care too much about others and ignore their own feelings.

A good relationship never needs to be flattered, but closeness, affinity and equal respect.

when we are the most authentic ourselves and be kind to our inner softness, we can really be treated gently by the world.

06

Don't complain

positive energy can slowly get better

there is a saying in psychology called "Festinger's rule":

10% of life is made up of what happens to you, while the other 90% is determined by how you react to what happens.

that is to say, whether a thing is good or bad often depends on us.

in reality, we often complain, resulting in bad mood and bad temper, resulting in one unfortunate thing after another, causing people to have a nervous breakdown.

giving up complaining and focusing on solving problems is the golden key to solving problems.

if you encounter something bad, try to adjust your mindset, jump out of the plight of complaining, find the right energy circle, and good things will follow.

07

Don't procrastinate

only action can get close to the goal

you must have had the same experience:

that thick word book, which has been memorized for half a year, still stays at "abandon";

the work planned to be finished in the morning has been put off again and again, and as a result, there is still a lot of work to be done at the end of the day.

New year's flag: reading, sports, travel, but all came to nothing in the end.

procrastination is like a bucket of ice water, which always extinguishes the fighting spirit that we finally ignite.

the famous TED also talked about this topic, and the speaker used a very vivid metaphor to explain why people always procrastinate.

It is without a doubt that black and white homecoming dress are fundamental requirement in all affairs. Our collections will meet all your needs.

because our brain has a "villain who makes rational decisions" and a "monkey who enjoys himself in time".

when we need to accomplish something, the villain and the monkey disagree, and once the monkey has the upper hand, procrastination occurs.

how to get rid of this situation?

that is not a chance for monkeys to talk: act now!

Don't think too much about everything and do it first. only by acting now can we keep getting closer to what we want to achieve.

08

Don't waste your time

time is precious to do worthwhile things

there is a popular post on the Internet: if death comes tomorrow, what will you regret at last?

the most terrible thing in life is not death, but meaningless waste.

Drucker, the father of modern management, has a classic saying: "if you calculate your time, you will find that most of your energy is spent on meaningless things."

and this is precisely the daily life of contemporary young people: staying up late, browsing videos, staying up all night, playing games, paralyzing sofas on weekends, playing drama all day.

the pursuit of short-lived nothingness happiness for a long time not only delays business, but also breaks down the fighting spirit and messes up your life.

time is limited, don't waste it on things that don't matter. Calm down, think carefully about what you really want, and work for what is worth it.

in the days to come, live with your heart and grow hard, and everything you want will come to you.

▽

Master Nan Huaijin once said, "three thousand years of reading history is nothing but fame and fortune; 90,000 miles of enlightenment will eventually lead to poetry and wine countryside."

there are thousands of troubles and troubles in the world, but they are all caused by the struggle for fame and wealth.

put aside the complexity, life can be more relaxed and interesting.

the happiness of life, the quality of the day, the absence of circumstances, all depends on the state of mind.

what kind of lifestyle you have determines the way you open your life in the future.

in the days to come, may you and I learn these eight ways of life, put aside our obsession, regardless of honor or disgrace, and be at the helm of life in this impermanent world full of hope.

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